This story needs editing. First Maya is reading about daddy-daughter sex, then she is doing it with him with implied prior experience.
And the twist with Alexis at the end does suggest that there is more to be told there.
A word of advice: don't rush to post a story. Write it, savor it, and let it sit. Then come back to it after a day or two. You may see something you missed earlier. Or you may find a word or a sentence needs to be changed, to improve the flow of the story. And always have someone check your spelling and grammar. Using the pronoun "her" when Rob goes around to the back of the house is an example.
Not bad.. I wish I was in his place, even though I'm not that old.. the story had me good from the start, even with the few errors in grammar. Keep writing and get better. 5 star rating!
by
Anonymous02/28/16
very nice
very good! keep writing!
by
Anonymous02/29/16
old submission
Eh...pfft
by
Anonymous03/01/16
Continuity.............
How the hell can you go from he sees her in his study and fucks her,to continue upstairs and claim they have done this before,like old hat .Shit don't you proof read your work ....The story should flow like water one sequence after another ,thats continuity..........GETS SOME.
English
More to come ?
Liked the story very much , especially the twist at the end. Keep writing, can't wait to see what happens next.
Get Some Editing!
This story needs editing. First Maya is reading about daddy-daughter sex, then she is doing it with him with implied prior experience.
And the twist with Alexis at the end does suggest that there is more to be told there.
A word of advice: don't rush to post a story. Write it, savor it, and let it sit. Then come back to it after a day or two. You may see something you missed earlier. Or you may find a word or a sentence needs to be changed, to improve the flow of the story. And always have someone check your spelling and grammar. Using the pronoun "her" when Rob goes around to the back of the house is an example.
Wow
Not bad.. I wish I was in his place, even though I'm not that old.. the story had me good from the start, even with the few errors in grammar. Keep writing and get better. 5 star rating!
very nice
very good! keep writing!
old submission
Eh...pfft
Continuity.............
How the hell can you go from he sees her in his study and fucks her,to continue upstairs and claim they have done this before,like old hat .Shit don't you proof read your work ....The story should flow like water one sequence after another ,thats continuity..........GETS SOME.
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