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Naughty Holiday

byJenny20©
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by Anonymous

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by RapidResponder03/02/16

Fair…

You've written a decent story…a little rough around the edges as far as grammar and composition go but including a fairly hot sex scene. I'm not quite sure why you had Jo call the narrator a "little bitch." That line was contrary to the rest of the mood that you had established up to that point and, in my opinion, was not really necessary. ***

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