All Comments  for

A Strange Gift Ch. 01

byTorque_©
All
Comments (2)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by OtakuReader03/06/16

Good start

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by ap2tech03/06/16

Good but...

I am not a contributor here but I read a lot of mind control stories here. Not to put you down but yours started out like most of them do. Strange man/woman/alien/whatever gives someone strange powers but no explanations as to how they work.
I know it's essentially a sex story but some of us like plot and explanations. It could have been a little better by having him get used to using his powers first. He really sounds like every man in the world. Sex but without commitment. Why make him so selfish? He may be young (I guess) but he should be looking for more than a quick fuck. He doesn't need a steady woman for that.
Please don't do the obvious. He doesn't need a harem to stay satisfied. No getting companies to pay him for work not done. These things are typical of the ideas here. I really hope you do something different with your work. Maybe end it with a twist.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to A Strange Gift Ch. 01  or
More submissions by Torque_.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission.

Post comment as (click to select):

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel