Into the Fire Ch. 04

Too short, clearly you've got more written, but short chapters are tedious and breaks the flow of a good story, turning it into a mediocre one.

Well written, good flow, BUT SHORT

I agree with Anon. You got to give us more.

When I'm writing, each chapter is easily 6-7 pages, I'm not sure why it's all lumped together. But I will start combining chapters. Thanks!

Yes... Longer

Agree with the others. You have a nice romance going, but the chapters are awfully short.

Good story

They both are mature, just feeling one another and need to talk; if not, then she needs to move out.

Chasity is going to be their problem.

Its going down..

Yep.. That chemistry between the two is just HOT!! More please...

It's still good...

Instead of criticizing the length, I should have been praising your work. Really awesome build up. I like the tension. I hope he earns her virginty. And I'm so glad that date with Sam didn't workout--jerk

Fawnsage, I really do appreciate the feedback. Chapter 5 will be about the same length, as I had already submitted it, but I combined 6 and 7 so it should be about twice as long. I really do invite all opinions and thoughts...most of all I'm just glad y'all are reading!

You still have my attention. The content I can't complain about. Gave a 5 star cuz I want to see how this works out.

I really want to like your story

I really want to like this but it's kind of typical and it's really tiring reading about girls who hear some story from a third party and flip all out before talking to their partner. I hope you take this story and make it your own