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English
Actually getting really shittier
Wow, and here I though that the negative feedback would finally get to you but no.....
writing
Have you ever thought about proof reading your work. You might it was approaching unreadable. If you do you might get higher ratings.
How are some people
so stupid as to 'favorite' such atrocious 'writing'??
The 10 year old kid next door writes more readably stories!!
maybe it's you asshole of LIT that's
stupid and ignorant. Maybe it's you whose comments are a insult to the human race. and for sure that sucks cocks and drinks cum. BTW asshole I gave this a 5
Proof read or not asshole of LIT
It's chapter 3 and you're still reading it so it must be a good story!! I gave it a 5
Pissed on the sisters behalf!!!!!
I truly hope this beautiful and innocent young sister of the vamp comes to her senses and runs as far from him as she can! Maybe if he were faithful and less possessive it would be different. He's a cheating bastard and she should just do the same. Hopefully she'll find someone worthy and fall in love and leave her brother!
@bonnietaylor2 or vastiesmith, or whichever troll ID you're currently using
Do you really think automatically shouting down anyone who criticizes such appalling writing is an adult or even rational thing to do? To the author, these two ID's belong to one of the most toxic and verminous trolls sliming around on this site; believe me, you don't want his approval, he's a vicious, evil, vitriolic little stain, and having his approval is an automatic 1 star on everything you write from now on. Be told.
For the record, this story is so bad I refuse to even 1 star you, you need all the help you can get, and I won't kick someone when they're down, even a writer as inept as you. You might want to consider that perhaps writing is not for you...
appalling proof reading
I stopped reading after the 3rd paragraph and reported the story to Literotica.
Good story but needs a bit of polish
I like your story and cannot wait for more of it. The a'holes out there who are so super critical need to get a life, or better yet, submit their own stories, so someone can tear them apart. Sure, your story needs a bit of editing and polishing, but keep with it. Afterall, it is your story to tell.....TELL IT AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO. I will read it.
fucked up
he kill a man who try to kiss his sister next day he fuck a women. what a loving brother and lover !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wierd story.
I kind of agree with the comment below mine. He kills a guy for being with his sister but then goes out and fucks another woman. Sure looks like a double standard to me, OK for him to be with other women but not alright for his sister to be with other men. Gave you 5-Stars. Retired Army NCO
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