Mom and Son go Camping

Great stuff

A great first submission on mom-son loving! Hoping to read more from you.

Very Good

Thanks, great story. Keep them coming!

I love mom/son camping stories. This was good but I wish it had been longer and more drawn out.

Thanks***

For sharing the story.

romantic

What an interesting story. The romantic twist after losing their clothes made it all the more better

I suspect you haven't written much, if anything, before.

Subject matter was fine, but your style isn't. Not a problem as all new writers need to develop a style. It comes the more you write. Good luck.

Goin' camping

With one sleeping bag, one set of clothes, leave them on a river bank to get washed away, don't think about swimming or walking down river to get them? Did they take any food? Will they have to drive home naked? What will the neighbours say?

beautiful story

what a beautiful story. well written. you could feel the love. 5 stars!

Excellent

I hope they get married and he gets her pregnant.

A bit convenient?

It's not too bad a story, but it lacks the believability that makes an average run-of-the-mill story into a great one.
I don't know if you changed your mind or it was a typo, but it started off "He stared at the sleeping bags...... " then suddenly there is only one sleeping bag, how convenient.
Leaving all their clothes where they could be washed away was a bit careless, was there a sudden tsunami? Again too convenient, and who ever goes camping in just the clothes they stand up in?
You need to think more about the storyline before embarking on the sex you desperately wanted to write.
Try some more.

I enjoyed it

Even thought it was a short story and got right to the action, I liked it and gave you 5 stars. I would like to see more chapters on the continuing relationship.

Good

Good story but as a few have said some convinant plot points and could do with being more drawn out but all in all great first story look forward to seeing more from you

Hot

Go with it. I enjoyed it

Good try but needs lots of work!

You have too many miracles here without setting them up in advance. Clothes floating down the river--really? Did they leave them in the water? Did the river rise, and if so why? See what I mean? Try to make us believe the story could have happened.

Keep on writing. You'll learn AND find you enjoy it.

Not a new idea and suffering from better explanations for the "perfect storm" .....

.....of very convenient (and changing) circumstances and mishaps that brought them to to be naked together all day in the remote woods, with no change of clothes and one sleeping bag, and in numerous conveniences, but lacking those they would have needed, were reality the order of the day.
I like they way you write your characters, they are likable people in a.....situation. I'd suggest you spent at least three times as much effort in editing as you do writing. Read it out loud at least once, making margin notes as you go. Then read for logic and environment (content, as it were), then grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc....then read for interest, characterization and reason. All along the way, you will feel compelled to make changes. Other than correcting blatant errors, try not to alter the story per se. Once you are satisfied with it as a work, are confident that you've taken it as far a you are able, ask a neutral, but trustworthy person to read and comment. If they have no complaints about blatant omissions, errors, or problems, it's time to submit.
Just remember, if you are setting something up to happen in the story, it must be believable, plausible and reasonable agains real world life.....OR you must provide a means to make it so. Science fiction writers often make faster than light travel reasonable with a fictitious explanation about a device or quirk of physics brought to light by some obscure person in a lab somewhere and given their name....like, "The Chendresh Exception" or some such. I hope you get my point. The clothes floating down the river require an explanation. The single sleeping bag from plural was just a blatant error that should have been caught. Her four layers of clothes initially was silly. You see, it must make sense in a real world way to make sense here.....OR yo must provide a device to make it acceptable as reality.
Rant over, thank you for risking. I hope you will try again. Your characters are truly enjoyable....I don't know how you make them so in so few words.....but I'll look forward to additional stories, if you will write them.
Thank you.

HAWT!*****

It needs continuing tho!
Thx for writing! :-)

Don't mind the brain dead comments by high school dropouts

Hey idiots...why talk about "miracles". Come on idiots the fact is if you lay clothes in water...they float away.

To the author -- great story...a fresh take...please continue. Do not let those over 40 losers who still live with their parents deter you from writing.

meh

no surprises. thanks for your effort though.

Lay/lie, laying/lying

Please learn these words.

Needs a second chapter -

so "Mom" can confess that she threw their clothes into the water to be washed downstream....

Some good, some bad

Lots of irritating little points, like every mother in America seems to wear tank tops, was she really hiking in sneakers, was a flowing river really warm, another couple who forgot a sleeping bag! Having said all of that I still enjoyed it so thanks

Good short story

Good ideas and descriptions. Feelings and desire shown through story. Keep writing, you have good potential.

dumb dumb dumb

You say that they only brought one sleeping bag because there was a scramble when they left. I can accept that they forgot the other sleeping bag.

But they were obviously go camping. You say they went on a hike but they brought *a* sleeping bag. They brought a tent. They were planning on camping for at least 2 days and 1 night.

And we are supposed to believe that they went camping and did not bring any clothes except for the ones they were already wearing? He says that he doesn't have any other underwear after his wet dream. When the clothes wash away she says "Those were my only clothes".

I can accept a mother and a son having sex in these stories. But going camping without bringing any clothes besides what you are wearing defies logic. It is just stupid stupid stupid.

some strange points good story worth the 5

I cannot understand the mentality of some commenters

who read an excellent first time contribution like this one and harp on trivial mostly imaginary failings. What assholes. The fact is that 18 year old Chris, a good-looking boy, well-built from sports, and his lovely voluptuous mother Jenny are acting naturally. As naturally as lots and lots of boys who knows maybe every last one of them, and plenty of moms would behave if they were free from crippling social conventions. The bond between a mother and her male child is the closest human bond there is, so it's not surprising, it's altogether normal, for Chris to be attracted to his mother physically as well as emotionally. And the same goes for Jenny and her baby boy. Chris's got a big fat mommy-pleaser jumping around in his pants, and Jenny's got a hairy hole between her thighs that's the perfect receptacle for her darling son's precious penis. Of course Chris fucks his mother, and it's the best fuck of his life, of hers too. He ends by giving his mom the best gift in his power and the most appreciated gift a mom can ever receive from her kid, a great big cuntful of his creamy semen. From Chris's hot young balls to his own mother's warm wet cunt. Want to bet it won't be the last time?

FIVE STARS!

I loved it. Thanks for the story.

As for all of the naysayers and would be literary critics, I wish they would sometimes just consider the name of the site itself. THINK ABOUT IT - DUMB ASSES!

Yummy!

A very yummy short story, I just wish it was longer;) please continue!

Comments

There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism but there is a lot wrong with the use of abuse please all take note.

A perfect place for sparks to fly!

I would have loved to have gone camping alone with my mom, what a great opportunity it would have been. Things could get touchy, feely, romantic. When that happens, it's easy to give into desire.

Great mommy

she should teach other mothers

Excellent

Only one word needed"EXCELLENT". Can't wait for more, make it a series.

This could have been so good

If you didn't rush it. There was so much potential for a drawn out, scintillating buildup but it felt really abbreviated. Great first effort though!