I am not the biggest stickler on grammar and writing structure (I have been slammed for it on some of my stories), but the issues in this story almost make it unreadable. Each sentence does not need to start a new paragraph. Some of the word choices were so incorrect that it ruined the ideas you were trying to get across. I tried to read as far as I could but I didn't even get to make it to the sex scene.
1*- I would love to reevaluate if it was made readable.
English
Wonderful story
Seems like English is a 2nd language. More editing would help a lot.
Real
Seem very real. Good story.
Need Help With Writing Structure
I am not the biggest stickler on grammar and writing structure (I have been slammed for it on some of my stories), but the issues in this story almost make it unreadable. Each sentence does not need to start a new paragraph. Some of the word choices were so incorrect that it ruined the ideas you were trying to get across. I tried to read as far as I could but I didn't even get to make it to the sex scene.
1*- I would love to reevaluate if it was made readable.
Very good
English clearly is not the author's first language but he had great ideas...
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