by koppu9
This is an amazing story. Your choices were spot on, from the jump right into the action at the top to the reveal at the end. You really nailed the balance of inner monologue and speech with the first person perspective. And best of all, no excessive description of the narrator's body. Thank you for the restraint.
I would have preferred no description at all. Providing a "neutral mask" so the reader can imagine anyone they want as the protagonist, even themselves. I'm not against specific physical descriptions in stories like this. We've all got a type, or maybe you want to describe a specific person. I understand. But sometimes a Playboy description of measurements, hair color, eye color, height...it can really take someone out of the scene. Which is why I say, good job for not doing that.
I LOVED this story. Short but very hot. I love dirty talk by a girl. and I loved that she sucked his cock after it had been in her cunt and her ass. PLEASE either continue story or write another-----or both.
the whole story was hot. am not sure about sucking dick after its been in ass tho. turned me off.