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There's another chapter coming right?
Right?
5 Stars
OK! Where's the rest?
This was way too short. Hurry up and finish :)
MARRIED----NOT MARRIED
and then a large trade up. TK U MLJ LV NV
that would be a surprise
now that we have that over with maybe we can get to know each other before round two?
Next Chapter Please?
That shower scene!!! Mmmmmm
Is this it?
If it is, it is not worth anything at all! However, if this is a start of a story where he is missing his children and flights for them to have him as a father, it could be interesting. So no stars yet.
nice tale
nice tale but would be great if they had a baby. her ex being the one shooting blanks.
Old plot well done
The old plot of the wronged husband getting the ex wife of the man who stole yours has been done too much, but this one has been done well and more of their story is a must.
So many possibilities.
To the anon
A clean ass does not taste of shit. Exploring all possible areas to give pleasure is a must. I remember the first time a girl did that to me, wow! That's what inspired me to return the favour. Sex is giving and receiving pleasure and getting pleasure from the pleasure you give your partner.
This is a textbook on "how to excite and stimulate" The beginning of the "scene" was a little contrived, but thereafter it became highly erotic. Enjoyable reading. I could do without the "ass licking"
well
great writing.
The story needs more chapters.
Why would his wife leave him for a a-hole and worse lover?
Why does he not have joint custody?
these and others needs addressed in next chapter to flesh it out.
Also we just have to have the cheating spouses break up and feel some pain wanting their ex's back who are now together.
This story could develop, I hope you can see the potential.
Good story I would read surprise 2,3, 4, 5, 6, etc. I hope that happens.
Great story Hope you continue it.
Fun
That was a great little story. Just would have enjoyed more. Thanks.
M O R E ! ! !
MORE - More - more!
loved it!
Thank you for sharing!
Really really really liked this one!
You need to tell us more of their story!
Was Tom granted any kind of custody of his kids? It sounds as though he is giving up looking for his kids after Rita told him she moved somewhere up north.
Why did he believe what Rita told him? She just randomly appears naked in his bed and he doesn't wonder how she got there. She could be telling the truth but he should also be cautious.
Hole-y Cow!
So, the ex of his ex's new guy, who he has never met and does not know exists...is a figment in his imagination who walks through walls into a locked house, gets naked, and awaits his arrival....This does not even work for a fantasy!
Maybe anymouse should read the story
They met at a party years before which is stated in the story. As for her getting into the house, maybe he forgot to lock the back door. I'll have to add a line or two to the edited version. I've already fixed the name screw up.
As for another chapter, I never planned this story to go any farther than it did. They are talking about get a house for the two of them so as a romance they live happily ever after.
Great sex!
Great passionate descriptive sex scenes TX.
Nice little tale
The story is pure porn, very well done. The plot not existent
How?
How did she get in the house?
Not bad.
I would like to have known how she got in.
The kids are a big issue with me. I know it's not germane to the romance but his estrangement from his wife and denial of access to the kids will affect him greatly. The way it is written he just sloughed off his kids with nary a thought and that doesn't make him very likeable. It may even point to why his wife made the change so easily, to be with a guy who puts a lot of importance on family.
Put off
I was completely put off by the entire thing. I agree with Polylvr... The male lead was unlikable, and there are far too many inconsistencies.
inconsistent
Irreconcilable differences?
No child support?
No visitation or shared custody?
Unless she and and lover-boy went into the witness protection program they can be found.
What she did is legally classifiable as kidnapping, the FBI will get involved.
Unless, as has been suggested he really doesn't care that they're gone.
Fuck 'em !!!
Fuck em' all the fat the short and the small. There should be more surprises of this nature and as far as the naysayers who dissed your story goes well . . .Fuck em' all etc.
4 Budweiser Scale
story......
This is a "Story" not a true life straight talking let us get this off our chest type of thing here.! Get real and remember this is a "Fantasy" and not a real "life Story" on how we fucked everybody into thinking this Story is real..!** GESH - you people are so full of it ~~ getting the FBI into it..! LOL Get real people.! This is a fantasy "Story" -- DUHHHH..!
Great story & really enjoyed the read.!** Got a late "5" from me.!++
Question
A great story very different it pulled me in like the naked woman pulled him in. By description Tony was an idiot is an idiot. I would like to read more about them but I must say I have always had a thing for olive completion. You would have thought that Tony was a real stud but his ex seemed not to think so and the guy ( waiting for her to come back) sure he missed her but the kids more. No child support, just leaving more like a kidnappings to me. No note nothing. weird actions of a woman that loved a man for so long and had his children. Mobbed. Up???ex said when he wanted something he took it.
Ron/ cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
Pretty damned good story. A pleasant "Surprise" for me.
Good Read
From what I read Rita and Tom got the best of the deal. He must have had an awful good line of B/S to get his wife to up and leave with the kids. The thing that is curious to me as why the wife and her parents are sister would not talk with him about it. I know it's just a story but unanswered questions keep popping up in my mind.
Will there be a follow up story on Rita and Tom and there relationship?? In my favorites.
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