Rachel's Rapture Ch. 00

'As of' were unnecessary. "Sisters were not yet awake"

The blood ran out of her face as she realized that the covers to their beds were not even turned back. Nor were the beds made as their father required before they would be allowed to leave for church or school.

So their beds hadn’t been used since the covers weren’t turned back, wouldn’t that mean they were made since they hadn’t been used. I stopped reading there. You seem to use a lot of unnecessary words to describe the same thing, it’s no wonder your writing is long winded.

Cool!

I have a troll...

Delightful!

Thanks for reading!

Your troll is missing out

I found both of your stories OK. It is an interesting premise, good luck find Rachel a man she can love and trust.

Exact portions of Suspense & Descriptive Storyline

To Your 'Anon Troll' - Begone ! !

Excellent intro, anticipating more

Hanz