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English
Ummm...
...there's a reason men shouldn't write lesbian stories, and your pathetic excuse for a story is a PERFECT example why. Here's my advice: stick to comic books and leave writing to writers, ESPECIALLY lesbian stories to women, re-tard!
Nice Call
Nice Build up for the sex and smooth transsion into sex. Hope you make it a 3some with the 3 women, Sam,the 18 year girl and the sales rep.
Chill out anonymous
C'mon guys - lighten up. Who says you have to be a woman to write about lesbians. Does this mean that spy stories can only be written by spies? Do children's books have to be written by children? No, of course not.
Oh, btw, if you must use the term retard (which tells us all we need to know about you) then at least spell it correctly.
Not real!
This story has no relationship to reality at all. Fantasy is great and is the basis for all the good stories posted here, but good fantasy must be rooted in reality. There nerver has been and never will be a sexual encounter like the one protrayed here. I was ready for a real stroker but got a limp dick instead. Thanks for nothing!
Well, realisim there ain't
No build up, and as sex normally involves some kind of psychological turn on, this story misses the mark....
The sex line is okay (ish), but it sertianly lacks the build up....
Not bad at all actually
Needs more work on the start, mainly, the best part is to lead into the story and flesh out (sorry bad pun hehe) the characters a touch. The characters need work, and space the action out a little more, to give it a little tension..the buildup to the event can be half the fun of getting there.
Hot and heavy encounters do happen, so the whole idea is great.
Shows lots of promise, keep at it.:)
Hot
This story was pretty hot!
ALMOST
LETS BE HONEST IT'S A FANTASY THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN BUT LIKE OTHERS HAVE SAID YOU NEED BUILD UP THE OTHER CHARACTERS A BIT.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TO HAVE THE YOUNG 18 YEAR OLD CATCH THEM AT AT IT NOW THAT WOULD BE FUN........ BEING CAUGHT.
KEEP IT UP THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER.
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