If someone has come here for my consolidated review of this piece they have jumped past the meat and will discover only bone. Just read this work for a wonderfully inspired adult fiction.
5 Star
by
Anonymous04/24/16
Spent
five years in Japan snd studied the culture in college. Your depiction of the Japanese woman is far from factual. BTW, Japanese can consume alcohol at 18 if out of highschool (which most are).
Like the others say, your story borders on the enfintile side. Suggest you find sn editor or wait a few years befor your next story
so the last time I was with a japanese friend they always added san to names as in robertosan plus you start out sounding as if it is a woman looking for an outside fling away from girlfriends and husband, then it is a man talking.
by
Anonymous04/25/16
Needs work
The set up and premise were okay, but you rushed the sex. It was " naked, sex, cum, mama drinks it." You need assistance in developing your story fully.
by
Anonymous09/13/16
Spent 5 years...
in Japan, did you? Then you need to spend a few more because you are not as knowledgeable as you think. Legal drinking age in Japan is 20.
English
didn't care for the writing at all maybe think of different ways to translate to the readers
Uhhhh really
A 5 year old could write a better plot line and story than this dribble.
5
for a great story!!!
CRAZY PHENOMINAL WRITING
If someone has come here for my consolidated review of this piece they have jumped past the meat and will discover only bone. Just read this work for a wonderfully inspired adult fiction.
5 Star
Spent
five years in Japan snd studied the culture in college. Your depiction of the Japanese woman is far from factual. BTW, Japanese can consume alcohol at 18 if out of highschool (which most are).
Like the others say, your story borders on the enfintile side. Suggest you find sn editor or wait a few years befor your next story
Tatami mats are -
RICE straw, NOT FLAX! I lived in Japan for 3 years, and the room sizes are measured by how many mats it takes to cover the floor.
so the last time I was with a japanese friend they always added san to names as in robertosan plus you start out sounding as if it is a woman looking for an outside fling away from girlfriends and husband, then it is a man talking.
Needs work
The set up and premise were okay, but you rushed the sex. It was " naked, sex, cum, mama drinks it." You need assistance in developing your story fully.
Spent 5 years...
in Japan, did you? Then you need to spend a few more because you are not as knowledgeable as you think. Legal drinking age in Japan is 20.
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