This was meant to be part 1, which is about half the story. The rest is unfinished, and I meant to post it as part 2 later, when it's done. That's why it falls apart at the end!
I've asked the site moderators to replace this with an edited version. I'll then post part II when it's ready. Very sorry to all readers!!
by
Anonymous04/06/16
Best story I´ve read in a long time
Just amazing. Loved the slow corruption.
Can't wait for part 2!
by
Anonymous04/06/16
Awesome!
This was awesome! Lucy is hot as hell and her corruption of him was just so delicious.
by
Anonymous04/07/16
Currency
Loved, and sincerely hope you will continue using the purity points as a currency for the succubi to rob men of. That Idea made the whole corruption more extended and arousing.
My submission error is now fixed -- part 2 coming soon
As I noted in a prior comment, I idiotically posted the wrong version of this story. (I'd meant to post half of it--the second half was unfinished.) Anyway, it's now fixed, and should be displaying for everyone as a 2 page story.
I will post part 2 soon, finishing the story. For those who read the incomplete full version already, sorry! I'll have a polished (and, I hope, satisfying) ending soon.
This is a really remarkably well-written story—maybe one of the best I've read on this site. It feels like it adds something to the succubus genre. It's a good mix of tragedy and dark comedy with "Luci's" sardonic manner. This is the sort of erotic fiction that I could see people paying for.
I knew when I read your first story that you had the potential to write a really good story. While your first isn't bad mind you! It's just easy for an author to switch into telling instead of showing (stories lose their thrill when that switch happens) My main problem with writing is I enjoy writing for this site (because of the great feedback I get) but fall into another trap where I'm just writing the fantasy story and realize I forgot to tie in a reason for sex!! I like reading stories that don't just have the sex thrown in so it's funny that I fall into the trap of doing just that.
I may have a weak spot for succubus' (Thanks to Many-Eyed Hydra) but even if they didn't make an appearance in this story I still would have liked it. Take your time finishing Part 2, readers may not like waiting but a finished story is much more enjoyable to read than a rushed one.
I didn't read the first draft that was posted so this comment is for the finished Part 1.
by
Anonymous10/09/16
Great Job!!!
This is a classic. How do you cook a frog without having it jump out of the pot?
Luci gives off this dark, yet good humored approach. I like how she enjoys her little successes along the way. Starting with Pride first was a master stroke because it catches the target completely off guard.
Great concept and fun reading. Congrats on a great effort!!2
English
Fell apart at the end
...but one of the more interesting things I've read around here.
Oh crap -- posted the wrong version.
This was meant to be part 1, which is about half the story. The rest is unfinished, and I meant to post it as part 2 later, when it's done. That's why it falls apart at the end!
I've asked the site moderators to replace this with an edited version. I'll then post part II when it's ready. Very sorry to all readers!!
Best story I´ve read in a long time
Just amazing. Loved the slow corruption.
Can't wait for part 2!
Awesome!
This was awesome! Lucy is hot as hell and her corruption of him was just so delicious.
Currency
Loved, and sincerely hope you will continue using the purity points as a currency for the succubi to rob men of. That Idea made the whole corruption more extended and arousing.
My submission error is now fixed -- part 2 coming soon
As I noted in a prior comment, I idiotically posted the wrong version of this story. (I'd meant to post half of it--the second half was unfinished.) Anyway, it's now fixed, and should be displaying for everyone as a 2 page story.
I will post part 2 soon, finishing the story. For those who read the incomplete full version already, sorry! I'll have a polished (and, I hope, satisfying) ending soon.
Clever and Exciting
This is a really remarkably well-written story—maybe one of the best I've read on this site. It feels like it adds something to the succubus genre. It's a good mix of tragedy and dark comedy with "Luci's" sardonic manner. This is the sort of erotic fiction that I could see people paying for.
I eagerly await the next installment.
Knew you had it in you!
I knew when I read your first story that you had the potential to write a really good story. While your first isn't bad mind you! It's just easy for an author to switch into telling instead of showing (stories lose their thrill when that switch happens) My main problem with writing is I enjoy writing for this site (because of the great feedback I get) but fall into another trap where I'm just writing the fantasy story and realize I forgot to tie in a reason for sex!! I like reading stories that don't just have the sex thrown in so it's funny that I fall into the trap of doing just that.
I may have a weak spot for succubus' (Thanks to Many-Eyed Hydra) but even if they didn't make an appearance in this story I still would have liked it. Take your time finishing Part 2, readers may not like waiting but a finished story is much more enjoyable to read than a rushed one.
I didn't read the first draft that was posted so this comment is for the finished Part 1.
Great Job!!!
This is a classic. How do you cook a frog without having it jump out of the pot?
Luci gives off this dark, yet good humored approach. I like how she enjoys her little successes along the way. Starting with Pride first was a master stroke because it catches the target completely off guard.
Great concept and fun reading. Congrats on a great effort!!2
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