Regrets

Great Piece Of Writing*****

Very enjoyable story. Thanks for sharing,

WOW...... real world and cold truths of life put into words, expressed dramatically.

Extremely well written and decisively communicated. As good ol' Jack Webb used to say as Detective Joe Friday "just the facts Maam, just the facts". Very little excess was shared and concise use of most impressive words/combinations nailed it 100%.
BRAVO!!

Couldn't finish

The characters were all stick people, the emotional overtones were all wrong and the stories they all told were contrived and ridiculous. When the Saintly Molly began to speak, I had enough. Make all the excuses for the cheater you want. She was still a disgusting slut and you totally turned into a pussy with this story.

Great

Great scene, great way to explore the subject. I watched my father die when I was younger and saw his fears and regrets. The lesson I learned was to give all the big decisions I faced the deathbed regret test. when confronted with a decision I ask myself if I will regret this on my deathbed. I make my decision accordingly. This has been the most valuable lesson my father taught me by his unfortunate example. It has worked very well for me. I have very few regrets in a less than perfect life.

remarkable

regrets? yes, we all have them.
this was an interesting reflection from multiple perspectives.
thanks

Damn

What a moving tale. A little bit too moving. The cheating ex-wife did not deserve to be in the presence of the man she betrayed, who lie dying among his loved ones. She lost that right. It should have been her, dying alone.

no rating

Great job!

I've read a lot of your stories and enjoyed them all. This one really showcases your storytelling talent as well as your technical ability to turn it into something readable. Thanks for your efforts !!

regrets

I agree with betrayed. Very moving. I am dealing with regrets still living, still some years before the deathbed scene will occur. Her betrayal was 35 years ago. I'm still living with her. Living with a wife that slutted her way through college and now refuses to put out for her husband. I have no place to go. Regrets

Some people velvet she should suffer more or not be allowed to the funeral.

I say: Go fuck yourselves.
How many of us are blameless? Maybe we didn't cheat; but let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I can understand the feelings and emotions of all

YOU did well

Your experiment in dialogue was very well done.

The Beast has become

a writer we look forward to reading. This was a poignant little piece, sad, yet believable. Thanks.

Tearjerker

If I want to read tearjerkers I'll buy a soppy magazine. Whatever the merits of this story it doesn't belong here.

Another whopper ...

... from the Beast. Thanks and please do grace us with more of your magical yarns. I for one will look forward to reading them. *****

WoW!

We all come here for different reasons. For many of us it is the life lessons.
This is one of those. Fits in many categories.
Thanks you for this.

Good job...

...thankfully, Twentyseven doesn't control what stories get on this site.

A very good story...

A very good story...Thank you...I don't agree with @Twentyseven: If shitty stories belong here, this one for it's own right belongs LW for sure...4*

4*s

Now that is an emotionally moving story. Characters are well defined. Plot was executed with single minded precision. A review and final resolution of the end of a marriage, and the beginning of a wonderful new marriage.
Written without any physical action, and with only two locations. It never felt claustrophobic.
Two stories by DFWBeast in one week. This is a time of wonders!
Thank you for your efforts.


AMerryman

Thank You

AWESOME

I'm Torn

I DID give it 4 stars, both for the quality of the writing, and the emotional moving of the story.

My problem is, though I'm not hard-core, I lean towards BTB, and I don't really think that Gwen suffered enough, her emotional despair notwithstanding.

Then it was the betrayed husband that had an early, miserable death.

If there was to be any sympathy for Gwen, let it be Joe visiting Gwen on HER deathbed!

Didn't work for me

The all-dialog format didn't really work for me. I found it implausible that these people would be having such a conversation over a man's deathbed. Not only that, but real people simply don't talk in that way. I think this would have worked better as a mixture of dialog and first-person narrative as told from Gwen's perspective.

The first scene where Gwen asks for forgiveness was very powerful. That was a great starting point for a story, but quickly devolved into an endless monologue demonstrating Gwen's self-flagellation.

Imagine ending the first scene at the words "forgive me." Then cut to a scene decades earlier and lead us through the events that led to that scene. THAT would be a powerful story.

Very moving story

Gwen sure did it to everyone in the story. He had it all...she cheats....they divorce....he finds love again....then he is taken away from them all. Very sad indeed. 4*'s

I think this was well done. And the retribution from her children!

Her own daughter acted to block a reconciliation with her husband. Then in front of her they discussed and laughed about how her ex-husband was steered toward a new woman, who loved him better and deeper than she had. How much anguish and regret did that cause? So all is well that ends well for Joe, but it does beg the question, did he do the right thing?

Divorce is a great way to end a toxic relationship, but it is a pitiful way to exact punishment and revenge against a truly repentant spouse. The reason for her confession did not make sense to me, but apparently she did it to somehow demonstrate her respect for her husband, and her shame for betraying him. But she had stopped the affair, and definitely acted in a way destructive to herself in order to give her then husband some honor, some respect, to somehow make amends. Its great Joe ended up with a better wife, but he took a great risk leaving Gwen, and at the time, for what? If he really thought she would continue to be a cheating slut then, yeah, get away. But the character described has lived a life of regret and remorse, and Joe might have taken his time to determine if the marriage was worth saving. Disloyalty definitely kills trust and respect, but Joe could have tried to save the marriage if he still loved Gwen. As she herself says, his love died too, the day she confessed. I just think true love would have driven some effort to better understand her falling, and see if there was any means to salvage what had been a good marriage.

Your ending to the marriage and the story were well done. Not my approach. Really enjoyed reading your approach. Thank you for your time and talent.

Awful

Just playing on the sympathy for the dying guy. That's pretty cynical, dude. There's no way any family allows this. Not if they care about the guy at all. Just so contrived and unlikely that it became difficult to read. Not cool.

nice story

A very nicely written story. Very emotional. liked it

Liked It

I liked it...as I do most of your stuff. Obviously it was written to play on the emotions of the reader and while some of it felt contrived.....it worked. I...like many of my fellow readers..... "felt something"....which means you were successful in your story telling. Solid 4 in my book.
Thanks for the story.
"Buckeye Fan"

so real

loved this story as it shows how a man can move on with his life after divorce and forgive his ex wife for cheating on him. it shows that a family can move on to make life better for all involved and still feel good about themselves. it is true forgiveness keep writing

Tear Jerker

What a tear jerker......thanks

Regrets I Have None

Good, strong approach to story telling. Once I got the characters in the room sorted out, the story flowed. Thanks

Ed

Lie and Lay

In your first paragraph you might want to review the English verb "lay." He "lay silently" is what he really did ... unless you know someone named "Silently" that he "laid."

i'ii tell you what

those are some shitty kids

Thanks....

Thanks for a wonderful story. Five stars.

Must be a bunch of dust in the air today

Sad blinking story. In terms of plot, credible. Writing: the dialogue experiment worked; could almost be a short play. My only suggestion would have been to have a list of the cast members for this play up front; would make it easier to follow. Five stars.

Good story,

written in an easy to follow format. At least for me it was easy. Now, as to the fact that the ex was contrite and oh so very remorseful and some say should have been given special dispensation, after a few hail Mary's, and then forgiven and restored to her marriage by her husband. Bull shit. Sometimes someone does something so disrespectful and heinous that forgiveness is a stretch not to mention forgetfulness. What Gwen did to him and to her family, besides the cheating, was not to give them any believable reasons at the time. Having ten years to come up with something, which was still pretty lame, was not good enough. She cheated because she could. Her husband's travel gave her the opportunity, but she gave herself permission and then followed through with extreme prejudice. The fact that Joe didn't kill anyone is testimony to him being a Prince among men. That kind of sneaky betrayal is absolutely the lowest form of betrayal. Love doesn't mean never having to say you are sorry it means you never have to tie your wife's legs together when you leave town for over an hour. It means you don't have to worry constantly about her co-workers or long secret lunches at hotel restraunts. It means expecting your spouse to let you know if something is missing from your marriage or more likely from their moral compass. Vanity is a pitiful excuse for doing anything, but I suspect it is a much more powerful motivator that we like to admit. Anyway, 5 stars, good write and good read, can't ask for more than that.

Excellent and as the ex screwed up their lives , she paid the price deservingly so. She seemed to truly love him but screwed up real bad fucking her coworker for 4 of the six months he was gone working for his family. As bad an act she committed she showed how much she loved her husband by telling him so he would not have had to work under someone who secretly fucked his wife and held it over his head. She knew telling him would be the end of her life as she knew it but did it for her husband who she betrayed. I hate cheaters more than anyone but you can't help but feel for his ex .

Well written story

Maybe better posted in Non-erotic? Effective dialogue with few mistakes. I found it odd that you suggested Gwen and Douglas weren't terminated immediately (Or did you? That one paragraph was confusing). Since the Company decided to promote Gwen, legally she would have gotten an excellent referral so why not move to another Company somewhere else? As for Douglas he would have gotten a divorce and half the marital assets. Another job in another city would have been easy since, once again, legally, the Company would not have been able to mention his affair to a prospective new employer and the affair would have made no difference to the Court in a divorce. Angie was the worst character. She sets herself up as Judge and jury, decides she's an expert on her Father's mental health and pushes him away from her Mother. What kind of daughter does that? Other than those nit picks, good story. But way to serious and sad for a porn site.

O.K., you got me.

Very well written, and the finale was well done eliciting an emotional response from me. Thanks for the story.

to quote Mr. Montgomery Burns

Excellent! Unlike the local football team you have done Dallas proud. Sorry, this Broncos fan couldn't resist.
Well written and well thought out. I like the way you told this story around the protagonist instead of through him. I know this is the lone star state, but that lone star has four others accompanying it. Bravo.

Stop . . .

Stop writing those things. I cry too much. So well written, so much emotion, so beautiful. Thank you very much.

5 . . .

5*, by the way. More if I could.

Very touching

Great story. It really captured the pain each person felt. A 5.

At least you have a winning team.

@Saxon
At least you have the Broncos. I'm stuck with the Niners, or the Cards because my Niners have sucked ass since Jedouchebag took over ownership from Eddie. NFC West all the way! lol

Anyways, on to the tale. Man, this was a tour de force, DFW! Everyone has regrets, of course. Hers were worse than most, though. You did a good job of turning Ex-Wifey into a sympathetic character, who truly repented.

The Kardashian joke was hilarious! A great piece of humor to lighten the mood some. All in all, outstanding work as usual. :)

5 HUGE Stars!

I ripped your last offering due to some unlikey behaviors

but this is quite good.

@DFWBeast Excellent writing

You accomplished your goal of telling the story through dialog exceptionally well. Thank you. But even in so doing you managed to push my buttons with the old "always loved you and never meant to hurt you trope". From my perspective, even at the end Gwen was mourning her loss and not Joe's loss.

A five star story and in my favorites.

Excellent! Just goes to show that one doesn't have to...

...have hot, torrid sex details on here to have a high ranking story. 5 *'s

oh come on now

this is a fine story but let's not pretend it mirrors reality commenters.

here's the reality I know:

1. many years ago, my mom had an affair. my parents divorced, she kept most of the friends and remarried happily, he remarried too soon after to a woman who spent him into the poor house, and was unhappy and bitter. he died and my mom was treated by most like a sympathetic grieving widow.

2. my brother's wife cheated while he was active military. because of his status, she got full custody and, since half of a parents friendships involve children who are your children's friends, they all stuck with her. even our sister stuck with her (solidarity reg?) he came home to nothing. she lived a happy life. I can't count the number of people who have said "gee it was all for the best really."

3. my friend's wife cheated and then protected herself by spreading rumors that he cheated first and she was "just starting the process of moving on." she claimed he slept with a woman while she was out of town on new years...when I told everyone he was with my wife and I on New Years, the story became that I was covering for him because he covered for MY affair before. And guess who everyone believes? A crying woman. I lost friends, my wife lost friends who were disgusted with her for letting me do that to her, and we eventually decided to move because of the toxic atmosphere. to this day most of those people think I'm the asshole, because I told the truth.

Reality sucks guys. don't give me any bs otherwise. if vengeance was there to be had and the good won out in the end and women suffered or regretted fucking around on us this site would be filled with female tales of woe and not with angry, bloodthirsty men.

Excellent!

That is all that needs to be said!

Great story

I actually had tears in my eyes as I read it.

Nice writing.

Your experiment worked, you wrote a very readable story that flowed nicely. You ought to get an editor, though. Mistakes really stand out at this level of writing, and another set of eyes will find them before your readers do. However....the death bed family confessional trope was pushed too far. Angie, especially, came across as an immature young women who kept her parents apart when their marriage might have been preserved. A lot of what was said was self indulgent narcissism. Ours is the age of Jerry Springer, Facebook, and the selfie, I suppose.

Wonderful story. 5*

Really well written and full of genuine emotion and pathos. What a sad age to die.