The Best Man

He killed her husband and still went to prison

Let's face it, it's unlikely a jury would have convicted her with that confession.

HOW CAN YOU GIVE AN ULTIMATUM

and not expect a reprisal. TK U MLJ LV NV

I think it might have been a mistake

to have given the two men similar names. It can cause confusion.

In fact it did cause confusion.

The writer got them crossed over in paragraph 2.

Apart from that I didn't find much of interest.

I didn't understand the reason for 3 things...

I didn't understand the reason for 3 things: 1st - Why kill a dog? I could even understand if the man he beat was the owner of the dog and loved him very much...Because being him a psychopath, he would kill or damage permanently the man...2nd - To kill his best friend, to get his wife, I could understand, he being a psychopath...but kill him just to fuck her once and then confess his crime to her? 3rd - the small town talked about everything and everybody and never talked about him living with the widow of the man that died when alone with him? Wasn't that strange? 2*

An interesting plot idea.

Makes you wonder how someone so cold and calculating and evil could be so warmly befriended by Matt and Kate. And then Kate allows him to become her room mate? Kate obviously was not in love with Mitch since as soon as he confessed she knifed him in his sleep. What if it was just a stupid joke? So while Kate's revenge was gratifying, the whole story was too short and thin to be really interesting and gripping. But thanks for trying.

reminds me of the BTK killer

this could be a story from his youth, is he still alive or did he get the death penalty?

5

for a good story and because annony, the asshole of LIT hates.

Very odd story

Sounds like the plot of a lifetime movie. This story could have been interesting if it were executed better. Mitch's character was odd. The author made him bisexual, but that fact played no part in the story. Then, the author made him do things a psychopath would do, but the only explanation was "Mitch had a dark side". This guy, who had a best friend for decades, was able to kill him in cold blood with no remorse. Then, the guy pursued his wife under the guise of friendship. When he finally gets her, he shatters the relationship by confessing. He didn't do it because the guilt was killing him. No, he did it because...honestly, I don't know what his motivation could be for confessing.

For Mitch to even approach the realm of being believable, he needed way more character development. Him being described as being a bisexual with a dark side is not nearly enough.

Sorry author. Better luck next time.

Keep trying!

You have written what amounts to an outline. You have a pretty solid idea for what could be an interesting and involved story. Depth and details are missing and we need a bit more sex! This story will earn you negative ratings and rightfully so. Don't be discouraged. You seem to be fairly new and, to those authors, editing and proofreading are of paramount importance. Your technical skills are not too bad… it's the idea factory that needs a little overhauling. ***

1*

in honor of that whore bonny/vasty

Cruel to be Kind

Look, I'm sorry but it is not possible to believe that these characters existed or that these things happened.

too dark for me

and the ending is seriously flawed.

Interesting Story

Matt committed suicide going off with his old "friend". He should have realized that things had changed after he married. How come Mitch left himself vulnerable after giving away the game.

Could be better

Reads as if there is a whole lot of the story missing.

Originality

There are serious problems with this story.
But I applaud any originality in the Loving Wives category.

Thanks***

For the story.

Hello and thank you

Consider me duly chastised for submitting such a short story. I had an idea and I was impulsive getting it out. If I had taken my time I would have done a better job. For that I apologise. Thank you to all for the constructive criticism.

While it suffers from being too short, forcing you to leave out a lot of rich storytelling....

...., it is nonetheless a very interesting premise. This one might well justify an expanded rewrite into a full blown story. That would allow you to deal with the significant shortcoming of this one, while fully developing a very intriguing idea.
Thank you.

Anonymous

Thanks for that vital information, anonymous, we couldn't sleep tonight without knowing that.

Wow

Hell of an outline. Expanded this could make a great movie. However, it's hard to believe that friends so close would even think of doing something like this.

My! My! I just discovered you on lit.you bring a truly wonderful and unique flavor among the otherwise predictable, routine and mundane stuff dished out here.