it was good but nor great. you need to flesh things out more and go into more details.
by
Anonymous04/20/16
Good Start!
Enjoyed your first story and I encourage you to keep writing. Maybe Beth can talk Lindsey into enjoying submission and exploring her sexuality more. Love stories about two slutty girls sharing themselves with each other and a very lucky boy. He needs to take charge of them both and teach Lindsey about being a slut.
by
Anonymous04/20/16
Great story hope to see more.of.it.
by
Anonymous04/21/16
Mark the hero
Now he is going to fuck everything in sight hope their all ready for his 9" cock, yeah right!!!!
English
good
it was good but nor great. you need to flesh things out more and go into more details.
Good Start!
Enjoyed your first story and I encourage you to keep writing. Maybe Beth can talk Lindsey into enjoying submission and exploring her sexuality more. Love stories about two slutty girls sharing themselves with each other and a very lucky boy. He needs to take charge of them both and teach Lindsey about being a slut.
Great story hope to see more.of.it.
Mark the hero
Now he is going to fuck everything in sight hope their all ready for his 9" cock, yeah right!!!!
He should of bent her over anf fucked her arse witb his huge cock xx
Excellent First Submission
This was a great read, especially for a first submission. I look forward to more of your stories.
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