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English
no action
The setup to this story was way too long. I finally started skimming it looking for something to happen. Nothing ever happened.
Great start.
Looking forward to the next.
Take your time
Disregard the "no action" complaints. You not only warned about it in the preface, but some of my favorite stories have long expositions that set up the story and more importantly, the characters. don't rush it. In fact, drag it out as much as possible.
Since you seem to be aiming toward a more significant effort than a quick fuck tale, I'll treat it as such. However, I'll avoid specific plot recommendations at this point. If I had any specific writing suggestions, it'd be to spend more time in Kimmy's head - especially during happy moments. Let us get to know her and her background more (love to know more about her and her sister's relationship from Kimmy's perspective) - to understand her insecurities and hangups and learn about her moral center. This makes it so much better to watch that moral needle begin to slowly and gradually shift toward the end of the chart. You can always pepper the chapters with various sexual sessions, either in real life, or even in the fantasies of your characters in order to avoid becoming too mundane. Character development is huge in larger story efforts like this. Also, don't let too much backstory be provided via the deus ex machina of the ambiguous "hacking".
Lastly, try to keep it semi-realistic. Don't have her teaching naked in front of her class and giving blowjobs to every 3rd student. That can ruin otherwise wonderful story premises by becoming unbelievable which makes it difficult to envision. And keep the hacking to a minimum.
This has the potential to be a great story. Look forward to future installments.
Just fyi
I like the story in general and I am not bothered by the long setup time, infact it is good. But I read the part where they talk about the age of the family, and either something is missing in text or the numbers are off, it reads like the younger sister is 6 years younger and 26 at the time. Meaning Kim is 32 making her mother ( who is said to be 46) 12 when she had Kim, not 16. Just thought you should know. Keep it in or do whatever with the knowledge.
Great
This looks like it is going to be great. Glad you decided to write another story!
Looking forward to it.
As said in the 'take your time' comment, don't feel the need to rush it. I think that comment had a lot of good advice especially on exploring her perspective. I don't think the story needs to be kept too realistic, as i honestly find the idea of her teaching naked really hot, especially if it builds up to happen towards the end. It was the one thing i wish you took further with 'Trish' in your last series. But yea I will reread the best chapters again, but they are much better because of build up chapters like this one. look forwards to seeing where you go with this.
Boy was that bad
The Geeks would all be in jail. Did you think it through?
Response to Annonimous from 4.20/16
I believe sadkins116 merely hit the wrong key when she typed the mother was 46, when in fact she meant the mother only was 36 years old. Am I correct sadkins116? You are welcome by the way.
YOMEYO
add it up
K started 1st grade at 6, graduated h s at 18, college at 22, and has taught for 8 yrs = 30, 30 + 16 = 46. Her mom must have been a statically significant teanage pregnant sophomore before she had to drop out of shool for a semester.
Chapter 1
This story has got off to a great start, I am loving it
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