All Comments on 'By the Pale Moonlight Ch. 05'

Your story is good but the mistakes are distracting to the readers. Please get an editor.

This plot is taking too long to come together. Its like reading a screenplay, there are way too many descriptions of rooms that are completely unnecessary. The very few interactions the characters have are repetitive, I found myself skipping paragraphs. On a positive note I ventured this far so there is still hope the plot is worth its salt.

I am going to work on editing this chapter to shorten the unneeded scenes and include the next chapter I have written. I have been trying Too hard to lengthen each chapter without realizing that I have been adding unneeded information. I appologise for that. I will try to finish my edit and have it submitted this within this week. Thank you all for continuing to read: I am by no means a seasoned writer and am also in the process of looking for an editor. Thank you all

Cheshireheir

Readers that don't have compassion should not read.

An editor is important, but do not let it stop you from posting the next chapter. You have fans that are waiting patiently.

This story is very interesting and I've been following it eagerly.

Wish that I could give more then 5 stars.

~ Masterskitten26

I love the story and don't have any complaints. I look forward to the next chapter. :)

I agree with anon who said it's slow. Too much description and dialogue is boring. You might read Huntress and Hunted - a new series in this category - as an example of how to move a story along and how to write dialogue.

Love the characters and the plot twists. Well written. Please share more. Thanks

Very intriguing. I wish Tara would trust her instincts a little more... then she would have a better idea who to trust. It's annoying that she's always running without thought. I'm also looking to see some of the strength you've said James possesses. So far we haven't seen him run his pack or take control of anything- just run around 2 steps behind the vampires, his own betas and even the human doctor. I understand he's confused but I want to see him lead and I want to see him interact with Tara again.

From a writing perspective, grammar is a bit distracting. I can ignore minor errors but things like Wear instead of Were are jarring and take away from the story. Also, some of it reads like a history book and I would like to see the story unfolding through action, rather than being told everything through narrative.

Listen, you're a good writer and the plot is good. BUT MAN IS TARA AN IDIOT.

This ruins the entire story. It is truly a waste of alpha blood and whatever uniquity she has. She would be nothing if her father wasn't so powerful. That is what makes this story drag into shit. To be something and something special alone is what makes a grand story. Tara's idiocy and ignorance/arrogance is beyond frustrating. Her moronic actions and inability to utilize her innate functions make me spew pity. Hopefully, in further chapters, she develops into a powerful woman of poise, elegance, grace and pure terror. A force that is not to be reckoned with.

I am conflicted as to if I should continue reading this story or not. I dont want to suffer through Tara's pure stupidity, and am losing hope if she will wisen up and be even half as good as her father.

It is just my personal opinion, there are many people who love it and you certainly are a talented writer! You have the ability to entice your readers through a beautiful array of syntax and diction, which I find to be rare. :D

Im starting to get fed up with Tara. Overall im enjoying the story and i hope her father is still alive. I would also like to see something develope between James and Tara

Love the story and the pace and the details. If you are planning letting us know what happens please let me know when you post I would like to know if I am right and large man is her father?

Sorry, but I just can't figure out what the 'unnecessary information' is that you want to cut out. Embellished descriptions are great. And it abolishes monotony when the narrative is intermingled with its commencement as well as the groundwork and history-aspect of the story-line and not compartmentalized like a textbook. I'm also a sucker for elaborate history fabrication.

As to Tara being skittish - man, I've seen some strange shit and I'm telling you, there's very little joy there. Your body just trips up the adrenaline and there you go, you're chasing the sound-barrier. And I would consider myself to be quite brave (mostly stupid) when being accosted by stuff that I shouldn't actually be able to see. But that's just my opinion.

If you're not thinking of peddling your writing in the future, which you most definitely will be able to achieve if you were to have a go at it, you should really not nitpick too much (I'm petrified you might find it laborious compared to care-free story-telling and quit). If your intentions are set on the hazardous waters of pay-per-paragraph or the mine-fields of the book market, okay then it is of course necessary to delve into the science of formulated communication. But your story is pleasing, very exciting and rich. I was ecstatic to find another chapter. Hope any of this makes sense, it being 6 in the morning after having reread the story because of finding your comment after chapter 4 and one or two other nonsensical statements by readers and not being able to remember noticing such flaws the first time round.

May you never know arthritis! Shot for story.

Where the hell is the rest of it. Just like so many other "authors" good stories and too lazy to finish it.

I am liking the whole mysterious background of Tara. Please continue when you can.

I am so enjoying this series! Please continue

Please continue this series; I love where it's headed!

very good what happened to not finish.