Sixteen years ago my grade 10 English teacher gave the class a short story writing assignment that was worth a large chunk of our final grade. She then told us something that has been stuck in my mind to this day. "If any of you end your story with it was all a dream or any variant of that you will instantly fail the assignment. No matter the quality of the rest of the story you will get a zero". Now she was being a bit over dramatic but at the same time she was teaching a valuable writing lesson. More often than not making the main events of the story a dream just cheapens the story and leaves the reader disappointed.
In your case you have a really interesting to tell the reader but then in the final moment made it so the reader has discovered most of what they read was a trick played on them and on top of that that trick was the focus of the story. Now if the story was a about a woman who lost her son and has sexual fantasies about him in order to cope with her lose and the reader is allowed to see that charater portrait clearly throught the story that could work. Dreams can be used to trick readers in a story but it should only be done as part of a larger story to give the reader a sense of the character's frustration.
Now I have been quite critical here so I should also point out I was very much enjoying the story until the end. I am still eager to read the rest of your work and hope you learn the lesson to avoid it was only a dream stories. Note this applies to stand alone parts too, even if you have a part 2 planned for this tale the it was all dream effect still stands.
I was drawn by the title, not to far from Oedipus Rex, a story that actually ends well. I enjoyed this not so related story but the ending is just hollow.
Nobody likes a dream ending but the author avoids rape/abuse of mentally handicapped and the whole sociopathology of the situation! still holds well the fantasy part of story! Unfortunately the real life couple of the described situation ended with the boy commited to an asylum as he couldn't separate his feelings and mother was a devout hardcore Christian! Congratulations to author for the knowledge or deep intuition regarding such cases!
I have no idea why something some unnamed teacher said in some 10th-grade writing class applies to an erotic story, but it must have significance to you. I find the comment shallower than you found the ending, but that's just my take.
It's a bit like someone who recently told me, "If you refer to a movie star to describe a character rather than take the time to develop her looks, then you're being lazy." Oh, really? So no one in real life ever says, "You look a lot like (insert name here)?" Of course, that 'pointer-outer' didn't bother to mention that the actress reference was in addition to the physical characteristics I'd drawn out. Like you, he felt compelled to say _something_ evidently believing he's doing his part to 'raise the academic bar' on what is essentially a porn site. Oh, and like you two, he hadn't published a single story.
In the case of incest, this is a superb ending and I see at least one reader understood that and took the time to say so.
Lastly, speaking of publishing, shouldn't those of you making these inane quips...er, comments...have at least ONE perfect story of your own to serve as an example? If it can't be perfect, shouldn't you at least have ONE story of some kind? I see that both of you have a combined total of exactly ZERO stories which tells me you probably can't write well enough to publish one, let alone one that's 'perfect'. Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a few (or at least ONE) with excellent pacing, superb exposition, and the perfect ending before glibly criticizing the work of those who have written several scores of stories that are typically rated around 4.5?
And no, I'm not 'thin-skinned'. I just find these kinds of silly comments from the 'professional reading' class who take themselves and this site WAY too seriously to be hilariously entertaining.
English
What??
What?? just happened at the end there?
It was going so well but the ending was a problem
Sixteen years ago my grade 10 English teacher gave the class a short story writing assignment that was worth a large chunk of our final grade. She then told us something that has been stuck in my mind to this day. "If any of you end your story with it was all a dream or any variant of that you will instantly fail the assignment. No matter the quality of the rest of the story you will get a zero". Now she was being a bit over dramatic but at the same time she was teaching a valuable writing lesson. More often than not making the main events of the story a dream just cheapens the story and leaves the reader disappointed.
In your case you have a really interesting to tell the reader but then in the final moment made it so the reader has discovered most of what they read was a trick played on them and on top of that that trick was the focus of the story. Now if the story was a about a woman who lost her son and has sexual fantasies about him in order to cope with her lose and the reader is allowed to see that charater portrait clearly throught the story that could work. Dreams can be used to trick readers in a story but it should only be done as part of a larger story to give the reader a sense of the character's frustration.
Now I have been quite critical here so I should also point out I was very much enjoying the story until the end. I am still eager to read the rest of your work and hope you learn the lesson to avoid it was only a dream stories. Note this applies to stand alone parts too, even if you have a part 2 planned for this tale the it was all dream effect still stands.
I feel the same as bluebomber
I'd like for a fuller story. Because this did make me feel empty.
But your overall works are good. Please let this one be a one off faux Pas.
Please finish the story.
I was drawn by the title, not to far from Oedipus Rex, a story that actually ends well. I enjoyed this not so related story but the ending is just hollow.
Quite good!
As writing goes, it's very good... I get the ending, just it's a bit much for a dream...
Legalities
Nobody likes a dream ending but the author avoids rape/abuse of mentally handicapped and the whole sociopathology of the situation! still holds well the fantasy part of story! Unfortunately the real life couple of the described situation ended with the boy commited to an asylum as he couldn't separate his feelings and mother was a devout hardcore Christian! Congratulations to author for the knowledge or deep intuition regarding such cases!
High School Essays
I have no idea why something some unnamed teacher said in some 10th-grade writing class applies to an erotic story, but it must have significance to you. I find the comment shallower than you found the ending, but that's just my take.
It's a bit like someone who recently told me, "If you refer to a movie star to describe a character rather than take the time to develop her looks, then you're being lazy." Oh, really? So no one in real life ever says, "You look a lot like (insert name here)?" Of course, that 'pointer-outer' didn't bother to mention that the actress reference was in addition to the physical characteristics I'd drawn out. Like you, he felt compelled to say _something_ evidently believing he's doing his part to 'raise the academic bar' on what is essentially a porn site. Oh, and like you two, he hadn't published a single story.
In the case of incest, this is a superb ending and I see at least one reader understood that and took the time to say so.
Lastly, speaking of publishing, shouldn't those of you making these inane quips...er, comments...have at least ONE perfect story of your own to serve as an example? If it can't be perfect, shouldn't you at least have ONE story of some kind? I see that both of you have a combined total of exactly ZERO stories which tells me you probably can't write well enough to publish one, let alone one that's 'perfect'. Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a few (or at least ONE) with excellent pacing, superb exposition, and the perfect ending before glibly criticizing the work of those who have written several scores of stories that are typically rated around 4.5?
And no, I'm not 'thin-skinned'. I just find these kinds of silly comments from the 'professional reading' class who take themselves and this site WAY too seriously to be hilariously entertaining.
Food for thought.
Omg!
I skipped past all the baby talk, major turn off. Then I read the last three paragraphs holy shit! "What a twist" Honestly didn't see that one coming.
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