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English
Chapters to short
I really like your story but your chapters (really just a page) are to short. It gets annoying never getting enough of the story to make us crave more. Frustrated readers abandon the story, not needing the aggravation. Again, the story is very good, the delivery is lacking.
this is one hell of a good story
Just a shame the chapters are so short. Could you not add them all to one long story, instead of keeping them separate?
Sorry
I apologize for the short chapters. I couldn't find any info on how many characters per page would fit and did not want to make them too long. Instead I've made them too short. The next release will be much better.
Well Written.
I've been a "lurker" (a reader, but not a contributor) on Literotica, for nearly twenty years now. I've never bothered to comment on a story... but this one is different. For ONCE... I'm reading a story, that has a plot that actually sounds plausible. Your character building is progressing very nicely... feeding the reader only what they really need to know, within the scope of the plot, without going overboard. Disaster/Erotic/Apocolypse type stories can be interesting, and intriguing, as long as the reader's intelligence isn't being insulted, by REALLY poorly thought out plot elements. So far, I'm enjoying the story, due to an intelligent plot, and characters with realistic (and PLAUSIBLE!) personal motivations. VERY nicely done. If this story continues to be written to this level of detail, and quality? I can see it winning some awards ( and deservedly so!) for originality, and for overall merit.
Your chapters aren't really super short... I've read a great many stories, who's chapters are shorter than the ones you've written, thus far. I'm eager to read the next chapter, and the one after that. This is far better reading, than the "average"... and it's whetting my appetite for a "story, with erotic elements to it..." as opposed to simply an erotic story. (I can assure you, that there ARE differences...) Good luck with this one. May you never get "writer's block".
Great Start
Now will you keep up or Drop Off. Sorry but if you look you will see a lot of Un - Done stories on here.
wow
great story! nuff said!
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