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English
nice
Great story
I can honestly say:
I've never read a story like it.
Weird story
Firstly you need an editor so that your writing is erotic and not comedy. Then you need to write realistic stories.
Not bad
If you had written this as a dream i would believe it.
The story needs a little grammar work to be at its best.
Work on your realism or create scenarios that don't require it.
You are one sick fucker
Ass Hole
!!! Got me very wet, thanks.
It's so sexy that's she's "sleeping" the whole time, I wanna try it with my boyfriend
* * * *
Har, de, har, har, har!
Non-Erotic
Non-English!
Yes and No
The idea is hot. The sex was well thought out.
The English... Well. It was terrible.
3/5 for a decent story.
i like it
i was hoping that Avery would wake up and make love to her brother though.
Random use of 'him' & 'her'
were the *most* annoying of your abuses of the English language, but a good little story was still apparent.
nice too bad she wasn't really sleeping.
Liked the story
I have to see if I could arrange the same situation.
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