Jennifer's Gyno Exam

Don't get this story

By the end, the only thought running through my head was "huh?" Am totally confused - is Drake daydreaming?

Um

I don't know what's happening, here

You're an idiot

Slightly creepy and concerned for you, reading through that. Please get help or just ask her out wtf dude

Ummmm....

What the heck was that? Not nonconsent or reluctance, just some crazy nonsense that barely makes sense. Pretty creepy, too - are you actually stalking this girl? Get help.

Mix 'intelligent' with 'in love' and you get a whole broth of 'crazy'. As the other guy said - ask her out Dude. Just remember to wear clothes for the occasion. Except if this is just a story - then the clothes are optional.

Erotica Beyond the 4th Wall

Lamentable that a story that breaks the stroked-out conventions of story-telling on this site in an intriguing and—possibly—literate way gets dismissed out of hand without any further thinking and thus unwarrantably one-bombed. I think this one is more original than the hundreds upon hundreds stories, which are—essentially—nothing more than trite and tired rehashes of “romance” tropes and plots, that get published every other week—not only under the present category—on LIT these days.

Thumbs up to the author for not falling into the rut that the majority authors and readers on this site have maneuvered themselves into over the past few years (especially since that disastrous mania over “Fifty Shades of Shit” or so)!

For those who care about the descriptive question accompanying the present submission, I think, the main quibble might be the verbal texture: it could be neater and terser still. Particularly the first third or so seems a little too unfocused and rambling about mundane and, ultimately, irrelevant things, e. g. describing—somewhat inconsistently at that—the imaginary doctor’s routine, etc. Then the “switch” of the narrative mode—from the formulaic to the meta-fictional story-telling—seems a little clunky and jerky, given just three lines of untagged dialogue. Here, I think, the author could find a more elegant and persuading solution!

Anyway, what’s there to read reads really original and fun (even thought-provoking). The use of the first person perspective is dead on target and—might I add?—brilliant!

Keep on writing (outside the box)!

–AJ

Fuck That

Good Start
Bad ending

I am sorry, but I got confused reading your story, it might be someone else's cup of tea, but not mine.
It started out quite well, but.?

What The Frack (Being Polite)

I Have to Agree with A Lot of Anons, WHAT HAPPENED !!! That story, Went From Beginning to End with No Middle. It started Good, I don't know what happened after she got in the exam gown, I blacked out. I think it was Shock, What The F..., Frack. Seriously, What were you Thinking !