All Comments on 'Walls'

Entertaining, original, maybe a bit too much dwelling on the financial theme. 5*

My main problem is that I get indifferent when two cheaters decide to stay together. Beside that, it wasn't a bad tale.

and hope they don't infest nor infect those around them, TK U MLJ LV NV

as a torana owner i liked your story

A good story...The good thing is that both were car fans and in the end solved their double problem...3*

Thanks, Original and with believable characters. Also I appreciate your not pandering to the BTB and RAAC crowd. Please write more in this category.

I wish we had a 10 point scoring system so I could have give this a 7, or 3 1/2 stars, so I ended up giving it a 4 even though I didn't think it was that good, but I felt it deserved better than a 3, so I was stuck, LOL!

I liked it overall, and appreciated George's honesty in admitting that HIS hands weren't clean, even to the point of admitting his affair to Liz.

The writing itself wasn't bad, if a little dry.

As for the patent stuff, unfortunately I'm no inventor, and have no real knowledge, but I BELIEVE that patent deals that protect both the inventor and the company usually involve a RELATIVELY small fee to license the patent (NOT sell it outright!), with a royalty based on sales, so that if the product flops, the company doesn't take a huge loss, and if the product takes off the inventor shares in its success.

And, yes, I DO realize that the second patent was a special case given the seduction plot.

Speaking of which, it says a lot about David's character (or lack thereof!), that he wanted 15,000 to reveal the plot that he was only getting paid 10,000 for!

Obviously they had a mundane and shallow marriage, and were themselves rather bland people. I felt no real emotional connection between them. They both fucked around on their marriage simply because they had the opportunity. He would have continued fucking the neighbor if she had not moved away, and Liz indicated she wanted to continue fucking David. When discussing the future of their marriage I got the clear impression that neither partner was that anxious to stay together; kind of maybe, maybe not. I don't remember reading where either one apologized to the other, or showed any real remorse.

I think in time they may seek new sexual partners, if the opportunity is right, and being such passive and listless people who knows how or if their marriage will progress from there. I sense there is a cultural element here, given that Larissa was OK with her husband fucking other women, and she apparently was ready to fuck George, for money. So both of the predators were prostituting themselves, and without much conflict or regret.

So the whole human interest element was undramatic and unexciting. They fucked around because they had a convenient opportunity and it was fun. Neither spouse apologized or showed any remorse. So if their marriage survives its not very interesting, since its not much of a marriage to care about.

Thanks for the original approach. I wish the characters exhibited more drama and angst about their behavior. The lack of emotional energy was disappointing.

You get $10 mil and buy a SLR5000 instead of a HK GTS ?

Preposterous !

What we have here are two flawed characters who make a sensible and adult decision to try to rebuild their relationship. Your problem is you are writing for an adolescent audience which wants hysterical over-reactions and the smell of burning flesh. I hope you decide to persist.

A little far fetched story line. But interesting none the less. A little more passion and emotion would have helped. I heard of stealing or using someone else's patterned divice. It would have been much cheaper to buy the rights than this end his marriage for a fire sale. Way out.

Cheaters suck but this somewhat had a real feel to it. He admitted to an affair long before that she never knew about or saw. She on the other hand was actively fucking a young guy in their home and her husband had to watch the video of her enjoyment of it twice. As a man after witnessing the act I don't think I could ever get past that. She also at first admitted that she was not sure if she wanted to stay married. He also could have been legally separated and pursued that whole law suit and she would have wound up alone and dumped by her young cock that was just using her. Hubby would of been a wealthy smart single middle age man with ton s of opportunity for woman looking to try to settle him down. So the reality was Tha she gained a lot more by staying with her smart hubby. He should of never given her the ammo about his affair until he knew what her decision was about their marriage and her active affair. He tells of guilt and remorse but she was caught while being taped and was actually fucking him now with no intention of stopping also showing no remorse or guilt. People do get past this sometimes but I don't think I could and they had no kids which sometimes forces people to try and work it out so they can still be with there kids while they are still home. He has to always live with the sounds and vision of her fucking him and that could truly damage him for years mentally , physically and sexually. How do you feel adequate after witnessing them. It's definitely easier to move on

"I will break it off with him," Liz finally said, "even if you and I aren't right for each other anymore, somehow he feels wrong."

Good reason to stay married. On the other end, he is a wimp and a cheat, and she is a slut and a cheat, so they deserve each other.

And why no revenge on the two assholes?

comments are bang on the money. Who of us is without flaw?

It maybe with their extra money they find each other completely and it maybe they have different sexual adventures BUT that is their business. Neither were without fault. The ANON that says he wouldn't suffer it but it was him that capitulated first!! Hypocritical. 4*

JJ

Entertaining story. Dialogue consistent with character mindset. Plot was better than average. Actions logical and motivated by character's goals. Fit the plot well.

Major failure was lack of emotional depth, development. A couple of moments of anger, that's all. A very cold couple, especially in the beginning of the story. Didn't understand the casual disregard towards not having children. Automobiles seem to be more important, sic.

Good enough for me to hope you publish more. Gave you 3*s.

AMerryman

Well as a Yank , I guess I can plead ignorance to the Aussie car makes. But I cannot plead ignorance to a promising new LW author ! The story , while not a classic , wasn't bad for your first foray into this genre. This genre certainly needs a new influx of talented authors , as anyone who read the new entries of this week ( today excluded) , can surely see.

You will find this hubs readership is extremely vocal and forthcoming in their views and equally stingy with their scores. Any score above 4.0 is akin to a red box in any other Lit site. There are also various clans in this genre that are literally at war with each other . One side is the willing cuckold/ hotwife/ swingers who seem to be in the majority in authorship , but definitely in the minority in readership. This tends to make the devotes of that style very militaristic in their comments and votes. On the other side is the BTB (burn the bitch/bastard) crowd which due to the majority of the posted stories being of the former , are also very militaristic in their comments and votes ! And some are the usual Grammar Nazis who do not seem to care as much with the content of the story as much as they do the technical writing part, it can be dull as hell but as long as it is written properly, this is their main concern. A great story line doesn't seem to matter at all . So as you can see , this site is not for an author who is faint of heart !

All that said I certainly do hope that you become a regular contributor to my favorite literotica hub , because I think you have obvious talent. And also ,for whatever reason, Aussie's seem to be very good at it !

4*'s

This is a good first start with an interesting scenario. Rather creative with no violence or BTB. Hope to read something new from this author in the near future.

Forget the bitching that this doesn't fit other tastes. It is your story.

Tiny Tim

I liked it 5* worth!

Staying together and putting their marriage back into good shape works for them.

One size definitely does not fit all.

One solution does not fix all problems.

Didn't have a problem with the money aspect as it is part of the story not unrelated.

These 2 shits deserve every ounce of pain they bring into each others life..

You can't care for a story if you can't care for its characters. And I find it impossible to care for hypocritical asswipes...

No vote. It was a stupid tale..

Stopped reading when all the behavior was ridiculous and unrealistic... SNOOZE

I liked it enough but had a hard time empathizing with the main characters.

I know folks like them exist. I am just more passionate.

Fun story to read though.

This may be the only story that explains why a younger man targets an older woman for something more than a one night stand. Creativity must be rewarded.

Thanks for sharing.

But interesting story

Great plot with a unique twist. Good characters complete with flaws and weakness. Well developed storyline and I enjoyed how your protagonists rebuilt their relationship.

Thank you for the fun read and please keep writing!

The man has cold blood! But he felt guilty which is a plus point for him.

The plot was fascinating. The question of whether neither deserve happiness because they both cheated bothers some of us. Personally I think you can always improve.

Certainly 5 stars. Thank you so much.

but beware, the comments you will receive here are brutal. There are those who don't like anything submitted it seems, and will tell you so. Then you have the Moral Police who trash everything that isn't strictly as it should be. I usually remind folks, THESE ARE FICTION-FANTASY STORIES! They're not real, so don't get all bent out of shape. I guess, according to Crkcppr, I am a Grammar Nazi. I don't try to discourage any writer, unless it just simply is bad. But I will point out silly mistakes that anyone with at least an 8th grade education should not make. We have plenty of those that haven't finished 6th grade on here. I only point out these to make the writer a better writer. A story can be good and have a good plot, but if one has to stop and wonder what or he is saying what, it makes it hard to read.

I enjoy most the stories that have the husband catching the wife cheating, and then there is conflict between the two. If it turns out to be BTB, and she deserves it, that's okay. If it turns out that they can reconcile, (RAAC - reconcile at all cost) and save a otherwise good marriage, the I like that too. I don't like the wimpy, cuckolded husband that the wife makes to be subservient and suck her lovers' cocks. That's just nasty. I thoroughly encourage you to develop and submit more stories here, and keeping these plots in mind. If it is good, most of us can get around the Aussie and Brit terms and expressions, if we can follow a good story line. Looking forward to more.

5*'s and favorite story status.

It's a big world, Honeylicker. The rest of us have to cope with what citizens of the USofA do to the English Language. It's only fair that you should have to cope with what we do to it too.

L

Well written though somewhat lacking in emotional grip. As others have commented, it was good to see a main character who was self aware and not too hypocritical.

Also, middle-aged divorcee's don't all find it so easy to find a compatible partner regardless of the cause of divorce; a fact borne out by the 50% plus divorce rate for second marriages. So, rushing out to find that next Ms Right is no sure thing.

The anonymous moron who lost interest because both husband and wife had strayed is really amusing, as if infidelity was the only serious sin one could commit.

If this was, or is, your first submission to the site I have to say I hope you keep writing stories. I'm not really one of those screw and forgive type of guy but, you made it work in this story. It was a pretty damn good story. The ending was a bit of a surprise to me though, never-the-less, it was worth reading and therefore worthy of the 5 stars I gave it. Again good job.

Your comment about the survival rates of second and subsequent marriages reminds me of a quote from (I think it was) Philip Slater. "People are saying the institution of marriage is failing. I say it is succeeding. People are trying it more often."

It is called serial monogamy. Is it really better than other alternatives?

L

i doubt anyone who submits a story here hasn't read a bunch of them, so you knew about the trolls.

I thought the pivot point where they confront the infidelity (s) needed to be thought out a bit more.

At that point the husband only had her word for how long the affair had been going on. She said they fucked twice, but as the husband was a clever guy, he would realize the amazing coincidence, the very first time she cheated, (on impulse at that) was also the first time he bugged the bedroom. I was surprised she balked at ending the affair. How attached could she be to lover boy if she had only been with him twice? As hubby, if she had any doubt about choosing me, I would say to hell with her. He already made the first moves toward reconciliation.

Anyway, enjoyed the story

Chilley

An unusual story that was well thought out. It points out some interesting tenuous aspects of a marriage with no responsibility to children. Sustaining a long monogamous relationship without the unifying aspect of raising children together could be tough. For couples with kids, the children give both husband and wife something bigger than themselves to live for. As youthful passion wanes, mature love for the other parent of your children can grow.

It lost a couple of *'s because of his holier than thou attitude. He cheated "every day for 5 weeks", she cheated twice but he still laid more blame on her to the extent of wanting to punish her when he got off scott free. He did feel guilt at times but quickly reverted to form.

It's good he told her but I doubt he would have if he hadn't caught her and was able balance the ledger, albeit not an even ledger.

He did soften his stance when he saw she had been seduced.

Interesting plot. But I don't see him believing her or not divorcing her even after they figure out what was going on. She cheated way too easily. He would have been better off figuring it out on his own (not that hard), divorcing her and keeping all the money to himself. That would have been a better ending.

....different than they are in my area. OK, no real issue there, but I found their attitudes toward each other odd, in the face of their infidelities. He gets honest in his letter android tells her they need to talk and she needs to decide what she wants, but that he had an affair. He doesn't tell her how long it went on, that I recall, but she seemed every bit as angry with him as he was with her. While understandable, it seems hypocritical as he thought it was for him to lash out at her for her affair, because he had had one. With her, apparently the thought process was different. We'll never know....you didn't cover her perspective.

Finally, as with all Aussie writings, I found some of the grammar and cadence of the verbiage...interesting.

Universally, though, I thought the characters were rather dry and aloof. It was hard for me to relate to any of them, because the descriptions of their thoughts, emotions and expressions, including their conversations....seemed pretty saccharine.

Clearly, the audience are observers, but were not brought in to participate in the story. The characterization was also rather flat, leaving us with a one-dimensional view of the characters. Any effort at vibrancy and personality would have been welcome. In some circles this might be dredged as to cerebral. While it might be accurate, it misses the point. It wasn't emotional enough to arouse much interest.

Thank you.

So I bring about your death with two shots while you shoot me 35 times...aren't we equally dead. I am not...never have been...nor ever will be a fan of equal shitty revenge fucking. Great story.

I hate it when a story contains two cheaters. There is no empathy for either, so what is the point of reading. Don't do that again! Story altogether too dry with no real angst or passion but I'm sure you know by now from other comments.

- What a bunch of crap,full of mumbo jumbo,bullshit reasons for cheating,and a total disregard for actual legal tenets!

- First,the older cunt wife,Liz,has gotta go! 45 minutes of heavy-duty suckin' and fuckin' with the young stud can't be forgiven! (Plus,the opening to her cunt now resembles the Grand Canyon!)

- DipShit,the husband,is a total wimp,cuck and needs to be dumped,especially now that wifey Liz has enjoyed the pleasure of being fucked by a young,hard,15 inch cock,twice!

- Don't waste your time reading this crap!

Bloody fool should have ditched the cheating whore and found someone with a bit more restraint.

Thanks for writing

I found the flow addictive, enjoyed the characters learning more about one another, and particularly like the outcome.

He could have figured it out on his own. And he sure wouldn't have told his wife about his infidelity. No man would have. He needed to divorce her and then close the deal for the 10 million. More than a few, younger, better looking women would have been happy to keep him company in his retirement. Too many unreasonable and unbelievable goings on to make for a good story.

No way! Stupid story with barely no emotion involved. It felt robotic and stupid.No cheated husband would react like yours did. The exchanges between them were badly written and absolutely lame. He turn from being a cheated husband to became Hart To Hart. *1 for me and I'm generous.

I don't know, but I'm glad I found it, eventually.

bb1212

Great to read with an atypical plot and the bonus was that it was written by a fellow Aussie! What's not to love! I will start to read your other contributions. Thank you

dumb cuck shit.

An entertaining story, thanks.

By the way, I had a loan of a Bathurst Monaro in the late 1970s - too much power and too little grip, especially in the rain. I think it had something like a 55 gallon tank - would hate to have to fill it up today.

Also had a bit of a drive in a Godzilla with NOS - Jesus, what a machine.

Is it over?

I don't know

GET THE FUCK OUT THEN

Since she did it a second time; good thing he got 10 million or she would have left him.

Should at least asked that G be fired as part of his deal.

Very boring and not realistic plus they had a very weak marriage or neither one of them would have cheated, She picks up a strange guy at a bar and beings him home and screws him on the first night come on really,plus she wasn't sure she wanted to break it off once she got caught don't buy any of it. That marriage will never work. Very poor story

Unusual, but very nice. I think the motivation and the connection to David and Larissa was strained, but it sort of worked. Sort of.

Also just because there was a divorce going on, it’s not clear why the patent would be sold so cheaply. Still, you kept the story moving and enabled the reader to gloss over the inconsistencies. Well done = 5*

Pretty good for an Aussie presentation!! 5*s.

EXTREMELY boring! Gave up before the end of page 1.

Glad I stumbled across my first bb1212 story. Unfortunately, most (not all) of his other stories are in categories I do not normally read. I do read some Romance, First Time, Erotic Coupling, and Group Sex. Seldom Sci-Fi & Fantasy or Humor & Satire. I stay away from Anal and BDSM, and usually Nonconsent/Reluctance.

The Aussie influence, along with British English, is a plus, since to me it evokes.an exotic feel. (I read lots of stories with American English, so something different is good.) Speaking of language, as I finished page 2, I realized I had not stumbled at any language problems (spelling, grammar, etc). It is a good sign when the language supports the story, rather than detracting you from it.

I agree completely with Twentyseven. The terse style is somewhat reminiscent of Just Plain Bob, who is maybe(?) the most popular Loving Wives author (with over 800 submissions).

Crkcppr's subcategories of Loving Wives is appropriate, but leaves out reconciliation. I prefer reasonable, well-told reconciliation stories, like this one. However, sometimes the writer digs it so deep/bad that only breaking up fits. The best reconciliation stories are those where she's in too far for it to be reasonable to stay together, then -- surprise!, the author makes it work. They were not in deep in this story, so reconciliation did not take so much effort or time. Where this story stood out, was that both of them were at fault with both being somewhat on the fence about where to take it. This is in contrast to a more usual story where the guy is a white-clothed saint who has never goofed (in his whole life), and the woman is blubbering in remorse and fear that she may lose her one-and-only love. This story also had a who-dun-it element that made it more interesting.

See my comment,10-13-18, on writing reconciliation stories as niche marketing at The Birthday Gift by TallMarriedMan.

Few Literotica writers submit for 10 years. So congratulations to bb1212 for a 14(!) year tenure. I hope you post more in Loving Wives, the category I read most.

Paul in Oklahoma

A lot of cheating, but good story around.it. Don't understand why Lue can't accept that we Americans have refined and.improved the English language so tremendously.

...silly. A stifling journey into tedium. Doesnt quite merit one*

At long last! Something different, and with a theme and a plot. They worked together, overcame the difficulties and got revenge. Great story thank you. Marie.

I'm not criticizing, but she did cheat with little provocation. They may work it out, but I don't care for her explanation.

Different and compelling. Well done.

Good writing but very unsatisfying wrap up.

Felt very unbalanced. Probably do to his insecurity in his performance and her admitting the shithead she fucked was felt physically better.

A good plot well told and well written. I thought it was more practical than most. Real endings are never nice and clean cut. It was a couple who made the most of a tough situation.

Wrong ending,even though he was guilty of cheating himself years ago,her attitude after being discovered should have been the clincher.She wasn't particularly bothered if they stay together or not.

...and too many inconsistencies, wife didn't take much persuading initially, and was reluctant to end it, and the ending, wtf was that about, too far fetched, not impressed

Good story line. First Aussie story I have read on here.

The SLR5000 is my dream car.

Keep it up.

As it took a long time for the MC to quit waffling.

A clever, little, tongue-in-cheek tale of infidelity, revenge against those most deserving of punishment and a fantasy happy ending for the unfaithful couple. Quite charming in its way.

5+++/5!!!

Should have divorced her and driven off with the cars.

Good one.

gave you a 5 star rating. Last paragraph was great. Detective work an average guy could do, thanks for that. I thought the $ was good. 60 day time frame seemed way to long, offer good for 1 or 2 weeks before leagal action would start and demand "G" be fired and person responsible for producing the product, both with bad or no references.

Great story and ending

I agree with 'should have divorced her.' With 10 mil in their pockets, you think she won't cheat again?. She falls for any cock LINE that comes along.

XYZ

Reprehensible characters. Doesn't matter she was set up. She did it twice with asswipe. Shw woukd have continued it for some time..The MC has a five weeks long affair. Just divorce and move on. They suck as a married couple. Most telling is how when he asked her to stop, she wa debating it. That says how bad their marriage had cratered.

Nice story good ending very realistic. 5*****

3 stars - none of the characters were any good at all, but the story plot itself was intriguing.

A lot of lack of emotion on part of both characters. Husband was a turd blossom with his five week affair with Jenny years ago. At least he had the decency to tell his wife, finally after discovering her cheating. Why did he wait to confront after the first time? He had the video. Seriously? What made it better by waiting after the second time? Following the guy? He could have used a PI based on information from his wife after confronting her. She is wrongfully upset after being told about the affair with Jenny, but never saw that he told her how long. Her attitude about not wanting to maybe stop with David, was not unexpected ad she just learned of her husband's betrayal. But so much emphasis on the why their marriage was under attack (which was interesting), but the rest of the emotional tenor was off. She would have insecurities as well. They would need counseling. He is willing to forgive because of his decade old affair. But it is new for her. She doesn't know any of the parameters. Imagine if the gender of the two were swapped. Wife had an affair 13 years earlier for five weeks, was torrid, but then realized would kill marriage. But then stopped. The husband then has a two time affair with hot young woman, clearly enjoying the sex. Wife sees this and has video evidence and watches this two trysts. Then the rest of the story. How would you the reader feel then?Wouldn't both be hurt, angry, but also ashamed with insecurities? Wouldn't they be more emotional and need help? Just saying.

Not bad. But…..

.

Not being aware that HE had cheated previously until well after readers learned about HER cheating was essentially a cheat on the readers.

.

More importantly, it was never really explained or shown WHY she cheated….near the end she mumbled something about not being sure if he loved her anymore…but NOWHERE in tne story was this even hinted at. This sucked the emotion out of the tale.

.

Finally, the whole setup was just off. Never made sense. And he’ll…these 2 don’t really love each other enough to make a real go of it long term.

.

3 ***

They acted like emotionless robots. What a train wreck. She knew nothing of how long or often or how torrid his affair was with Jenny, and yet when he demanded her to end her present affair, she said she didn't know. Both have serious issues and would be better off with other people. Their mariesge will never be the same for either of them. Hey at least she was targeted and may chemically influenced the first time. It isn't clear. In fact a lot isn't clear the way this is written. So anyways what was the MC's excuse? Oh right. It was a long time ago. Except for her it is now as she just learns of his adultery after having committed her own..what a mess.