The Truest Control Ch. 08

This was...ridiculous.

Maybe you could invite the cast from Bugs Bunny to act a little reality to this tripe. Maybe some advice from Bill Cosby on using illicit drugs as a method of contact? Really, this was horrible and doubly so because it started off with promise.

So what went wrong?

Thank you for your constructive feedback. Could you elaborate a little on where things went wrong? I followed the story where it seemed logical to take it, and I think the conclusion turned out well, but I'm willing to listen to contrasting opinions.

Waste of time

Read ch1 & 8. If this was a writing effort it failed. Yuck

If it represents author's personal desires and beliefs of a relationship between man and woman, author is mentally ill!

Interesting premise, but...

the narrative in this chapter is very stiff. Events are just there and characters say things without any background for or emotion in the words. There's not even much denotation of inflection to be had.

It doesn't feel like the way real people would speak so it really breaks immersion in the story.

You're probably right, but this is just a brief epilogue. It doesn't serve to advance the story, but rather to put a finishing note on it. I think it acknowledges, in the end, that the entire story is an unrealistic fantasy, and so the epilogue kind of takes things to the extreme, since an extreme can be the only logical conclusion to a sequence of events like this. Thanks for reading, and for the feedback!