Jane's Movie

The plot is very interesting but you have to add a whole lot more action, descriptions, and physical details.

Interesting ...

... concept but very badly written and punctuated!

This is a unique concept and writing style. I find it very interesting and think you have great potential. But this story could benefit from the help of an editor. There are some distracting grammatical errors, and the characters and plot line need to be fleshed out. But again, this style is very interesting and has potential.