I sure as hell didn't expect that last line there, but the lead-up got me laughing like crazy. She has it really bad for him, so much she can't control her lips anymore. I just hope Mark remains the gentleman he was 'till now and doesn't use this lapse and forgoes his chaotic teachings :)
I'm finding the small details to be very realistic.
It's hard to write in a way that includes these little sideline thoughts and actions without the reader feeling "get to the real action for goodness sake".
But this story is succeeding for me.
Lue
by
Anonymous05/11/16
Yassss
This is amazing! Please keep it coming ASAP I love it. By far one of the best threads on here
a strategic decision has been made to release this series in very short segments, some not even a full page in length. (the sentiment is often expressed in comments on Lit that one page does not a chapter make). they have been together for only one week. as individuals they have no experience dating, let alone being sexually active.
I LOVE IT! It is a fantastically realistic story which provokes emotions that most readers have experienced at least once in their life! While I'm not a fan of short chapters, they work in this story.
I must say however, I agree with some commenters about the last line of the story. I think with the slow progression of the story and the characters in this story, it is a little too soon. However I will not pass judgment on that until I read the next chapter.
Love your writing and will be looking for more from you! 5*
I'm enjoying this story. I love the development of the action, slow but sure steps, although the end of this chapter has surprised me a little, but I think it is a possible reaction given the circumstances of Jennifer, nerves can betray our words and make them say our most secret desires ahead of time.
I want to continue hearing the story unfolds.
5* for you.
I apologize for my English, is not my native language.
English
Damn, this is getting serious all of a sudden
I sure as hell didn't expect that last line there, but the lead-up got me laughing like crazy. She has it really bad for him, so much she can't control her lips anymore. I just hope Mark remains the gentleman he was 'till now and doesn't use this lapse and forgoes his chaotic teachings :)
5* once again!
The last line is an oops moment!
You describe their jitters so very well! Keep the story coming.
Still progressing well
I'm finding the small details to be very realistic.
It's hard to write in a way that includes these little sideline thoughts and actions without the reader feeling "get to the real action for goodness sake".
But this story is succeeding for me.
Lue
Yassss
This is amazing! Please keep it coming ASAP I love it. By far one of the best threads on here
it feels like
the last line was at least a chapter too soon.
a strategic decision has been made to release this series in very short segments, some not even a full page in length. (the sentiment is often expressed in comments on Lit that one page does not a chapter make). they have been together for only one week. as individuals they have no experience dating, let alone being sexually active.
how about a learning curve?
My feeling of this story has stayed consistent
I LOVE IT! It is a fantastically realistic story which provokes emotions that most readers have experienced at least once in their life! While I'm not a fan of short chapters, they work in this story.
I must say however, I agree with some commenters about the last line of the story. I think with the slow progression of the story and the characters in this story, it is a little too soon. However I will not pass judgment on that until I read the next chapter.
Love your writing and will be looking for more from you! 5*
I love this story
I'm enjoying this story. I love the development of the action, slow but sure steps, although the end of this chapter has surprised me a little, but I think it is a possible reaction given the circumstances of Jennifer, nerves can betray our words and make them say our most secret desires ahead of time.
I want to continue hearing the story unfolds.
5* for you.
I apologize for my English, is not my native language.
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