Your story was good, but it could use an editor as the spelling was very bad and for a writer to talk about another writer's words, even notes, should have correct spelling and punctuation. Keep writing but edit for spelling and meaning i.e. "I cloths my eyes and opened my mouth " i believe you meant "I closed my eyes and opened my mouth " but the meaning is clear..... just confusing as a reader.
Great premise. Knife play isn't something I come across (usually) in the incest section, as someone who enjoys it, I thought it was a nice surprise. As was previously mentioned, there some typos but I think it was a nice plot. Don't let the typo thing discourage you, keep up the sinful pleasures!
Please continue, this was well written even with a couple errors, and as for others complaining about content they object to, it's your story write it as you see fit.
by
Anonymous05/29/16
Good stuff
You just made a great story here. It would be cool to read it till the end. Goodluck.
Yeah. Knife play is not something I like.
But yes to everything else.
I'm hoping for a series here.
I am not into knives
The rest of the story was hot. I would like to read the sequel.
5
great story
good but
Your story was good, but it could use an editor as the spelling was very bad and for a writer to talk about another writer's words, even notes, should have correct spelling and punctuation. Keep writing but edit for spelling and meaning i.e. "I cloths my eyes and opened my mouth " i believe you meant "I closed my eyes and opened my mouth " but the meaning is clear..... just confusing as a reader.
What games may follow...
Great premise. Knife play isn't something I come across (usually) in the incest section, as someone who enjoys it, I thought it was a nice surprise. As was previously mentioned, there some typos but I think it was a nice plot. Don't let the typo thing discourage you, keep up the sinful pleasures!
excellent story
Please continue, this was well written even with a couple errors, and as for others complaining about content they object to, it's your story write it as you see fit.
Good stuff
You just made a great story here. It would be cool to read it till the end. Goodluck.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Mom's Journal or
More submissions by TylerD.