All Comments on 'Mr & Mrs Beach'

great images and rhythms.

a touch of voodoo and jamaica

makes me want gumbo

thank you

a jambing poem with some great alliteration in the first stanza. A wonderful drumming rhythm in enhanced with the word sounds. The second stanza though lost the beat as you seemed to roll into a dialogue, but then just as suddenly slipped out of it. "Separately not collectively seen," hit a low point, that only slightly recovered in the following lines. In the movie, Rene Zelweiger said "You had me at 'Hello.'" Well you had me through "...being black on a Saturday night." but then lost me in the second stanza.

I think you worked on stanza two, carrying that spirit, word play and rhythm from the first stanza this poem would dance.

jim : )

So Glad I read Jim's review, I almost MISSED this one.

Sand in your shoe indeed.... love it