All Comments on 'Preludes Ch. 12: Flipped Pt. 01'

I'm praying there are more stories and series of Rachel to come. These have become one of the highlights of my week! Thank u!

Preludes and The Prom -- two of the best on Literotica! Can't wait to see how you wrap this up. Five Stars!

The end? Or will there be another series?

It's paragraphs like this one that make the author such a good writer:

"However, when they both looked as were at the moment, the normally muted resemblance seemed to magically uncover itself and rise to the surface. The soft warmth of their expressions linked them and the light in their eyes mirrored a similar sense of kindness and wonder. The two women simply stared at each other for several moments and communicated without words. They could both see it. They could both feel it, too."

That is really capturing the humanity of two characters and without that element, done so remarkably well, this wouldn't be the exceptional story it is. One who doesn't write well cannot know how difficult it is to forge a paragraph like that. I write, and sometimes well, but finding examples like this throughout this and all the other chapters proves what a talented and careful writer the author is.

My only qualm, if I have one, is the over frequent use of the word 'generous' and its derivatives.

asianToy

AT...

First, as usual, your kind words are humbling. The paragraph you quoted is actually one of my favorite passages of these long, convoluted tales and having it singled out for praise brings me much joy. The series of "cut scenes" I wrote into this chapter were something I spent a lot of energy on and I'm extremely glad that they seemed to translate well.

As to your beef, well, tough. I kid! As a writer yourself (and a very good one), I'm sure you recognize how real the struggle is against overuse of adjectives. I cringe sometimes when I re-read a story I've submitted and I pick up on an obnoxious repetition. And even when I think things are fairly well balanced, I have no idea how the reader will settle into the flow.

You are more than fair and all I'll say in defense of "generous" is that it is a pet favorite of mine in this realm. I find there to be an inherent generosity in giving oral sex and that doesn't even touch on the details of the act itself which can also be described as generous depending on the moment.

Either way, your critique is well founded and appreciated. I really do find such feedback to be helpful. Hopefully your comment on this chapter means you are zeroing in on the end. Looking forward to your wrap up thoughts as well!

TRC