The Day I Loved My Brother

WTF is it with insect rape fantasies lately?

Congrats On your first story

It was an easy read but too short
Some typo's but that seems the norm here
Looking forward to your next story

LMFAO @ Anonny

Insect rape? really lolol omg thanks for the great laugh. I almost pissed myself laughing so hard.
"Come here you little Piss Ant, I'm sooo going to fuck you, and you're going to love it."
We'll have Ant babies like Frisky Dingo's reporter Girlfriend did after Ant Farm Keyboard got a dose of Radiation and knocked her up. Muahahaha

Oh, and the story wasn't bad, albeit a bit short. :)

This was a great start but some information about them would be good too. Hopefully, they will play at night and after school again but slower and more mutual action. She likes to cum and so does he; maybe they can suck each other too and make it last even more. Good start and thanks. Another chapter soon hopefully.

Devoid of emotions

- except the fear when the older, selfish brother initiates what in reality is a rape - having no concern or compassion for his younger sister.
This story is just depressing.

Good Start...However???

Definitely a good start to a possible series, you need to slow down and start building the background on these two, as it appears that that the brother has had strong suppressed feelings for his sister. Also need more and better character development if you plan to continue this stories and how they gotten to this point. Only gave it a 4 because of the reasons that I stated above and the overall length of the chapter. Hope you continue this story and the endless possibilities that awaits.

Keep up the good work!

pity

Are we seeing stories from bored schoolkids or what? Get a friggin proofreader. This was a disaster.

Good start....keep writing. Ignore unamed responses.

Suggestion....write every day.

Publish twice a week.

You have a good theme, do not stop.

We are all amateur writers....

I think this is the start of a good series. It was hot. I think a little unrealistic, but a good plot. Editing is my downfall, which is why i have not entered a story yet. But, i just may soon. Anyways, i liked your story, typos and its glory

liked

Like this a lot. Where's the next one?

Oh Wow

I honestly didn't expect this to get submitted right away. I decided to give it a shot, and figured whatever reason it would get rejected for would help me out in the future. xD

But thanks for all the positive and helpful comments. I didn't intend to turn this into a series, but I might to help track progress. :) I'll look into an editor for the next one, and update soon.

Again, thank you all for the comments and critiques. It definitely helps, especially being this my very first erotica story. :)

Good story, made me cum

I kinda liked it...

Except her sucking the cock that was in her ass. Lol. Please continue the story so we can get to know the characters a little better.

Good Story, Too Short 5*

I look forward to more like this, but more than one page please.

loved it!!

I'm a big fan of the ass to mouth stories, there isn't a lot of brother/sister stories that have that. So thank you for that!!! But great story!