Champions

Author's Update

Just a quick reminder that updates on the status of this series can be found on my main profile page. I am working on Book 2 again, and my original goal of having it ready by Veteran's Day has been pushed. Now I hope to get it posted no later than January 2017. Don't forget to check my profile page for story updates.

Fantastic

Looking forward to your future installments this is one of the better ones I've seen. Should be on the Hall of Fame with Dream Drive and Three Square meals

Thanks for the updates!

Great story here. You picked a perfect spot to break at, leaving me fulfilled and still anticipating your next work.

Very interesting. I was happy to see someone from the armed forces using their knowledge to paint a character as interesting as David. Looking forward to seeing what more you might produce in this setting as well as doing ping you will decide to share it with us.

From a vietnam vet

Very, very good. Definitely continue your writing. I'm looking forward to your future books.

"An Old Warhorse" Appreciates

After 36 yrs and finally forced out in ´03...this old jarhead says ´Thank You´. The gear changed a lot from ´67 to ´03 but the drills the same....watch your 6 and thank Sky 6....

Fantastic story

Hello, I appreciate your efforts with both the story and Afghanistan.

Please complete the David series. If not the whole nine then at least the first three to round out the first story line.

I do understand that you are unpaid for your time and intellectual property on this site so if you do publish elsewhere please inform us some how.

Oh and I can just imagine a guy in camo cruising an a ancient world on a horse with a LMG. What a picture.

Anonymous comments should be banned.

Thanks.

Best Ever

I loved this story sooooo sooo much it was a very good read.

Absolutely Amazing

Absolutely Amazing. I hope you choose to write and share more someday. And good luck with your job hunting.

Top Notch Writer and Story.

Please complete the next part of your story/plot - the battle between the champions and David's part in saving the day. This is a very good story and I beg you to continue. Your writing skill and talent is top notch!! Pleeeeaaasssseee!! I can see David's feelings towards the acolyte champion thawing and eventually having her in a threesome outside of the ceremony!!

Excellent!!!

I am a very avid reader and have read story and novels for over 20 years. This is one of the very best I have ever read very well composed and written I just feel straight into it just thanks for it and please continue I will make sure to keep checking back to see if you have more just awesome. Excellent

All I can say is MORE!!!

Outstanding, more please

Outstanding, more please

Excellent story, please continue.

Thank you for sharing this story. I hope that you continue writing. If you decide to publish, please let us know where we can purchase more of your work. I have paid for many books not nearly as good as this one. Good luck with your job search.

Duh! Just bought on Kindle

In the comment I wrote earlier today, I encouraged you to let us know if you published your work elsewhere. Obviously, I had not read your Biography section. I have now and I just bought the Kindle edition on Amazon. Thank you for continuing to write.

Love your story

Just finished your first book of Champions really enjoyed it understand your military assessments I was in the 101st back in the mid-sixties. I am waiting patiently for your next book hope it's every bit as good as the first keep riding hope everything works good for you

Paps

Great Story

I am really looking forward to the next installment, one of the best I have read here.

Thoroughly enjoyed

If your aim was to give back to the literotica community then mission very much accomplished. This was an imaginative and well-paced story with several characters that are easy to like and some exciting action, both erotic and otherwise.

Since you asked for honest feedback, I have a couple of thoughts.

First, as a minor point, for my taste as I was reading the detail of military gear, jargon and tactics was interesting but a bit excessive. Having read your comments at the end I can see that this was important for you, and it certainly helped add realism, but in future installments it may be worth breaking it up into smaller chunks.

Second, and more importantly, it would have been good to see David have more of a learning journey. It's clear that you as the author sympathize (and presumably identify) with your protagonist, but it can get a bit grating when everyone else's emotional developments consist of realizing that he was right and they were wrong. You deal in an important moral issue - the limits of violence on the one hand and pacifism on the other. There's plenty of scope there for any individual to have doubt, make wrong decisions, evolve. At one point David does reflect on how his cumulative (but justified) actions change him, but that doesn't seem to lead anywhere. Towards the end, having Eros lecture Laurena in exactly the same terms as David did is a bit heavy handed as a divine endorsement of our hero's viewpoint. Stories like this are more effective when the main protagonist is a bit more flawed (or recognises his flaws) and undergoes a development of his own.

I hope these thoughts are helpful. In any case I salute you: you created a thoroughly enjoyable story and I for one am looking forward to what happens to your characters next. Thank you for sharing it.

Awesome Story!!!

Awesome Story!!! Two things, (1.) It's spelled altar, not alter. (2.) I do hope you continue this story.

i sure hope there is MORE

I SURE HOPE THERE IS MORE

Stauker

Ummmm, do I want more?
HELL YES!!
Good story, as in believable characters, quality plotline, great action sequences, originality (very important), and low error frequency. Yes I want more, yes I believe you may have done bad things during war, but- I have learned not to judge, but give thanks wehere thanks is due. On that note, as (not) your commanding officer, I order you to keep writing, keep living, and go mountain biking once a week.

Incredible

This is a ridiculously impressive story, both in its length and its depth. Your character building is some of the most impressive I've seen on this site, your plot lines are masterfully interwoven with just the right amount of complexity to keep your readers entertained throughout. You sir, are one of the best writers I've had the privilege of reading. Please continue your craft!

Hope you continue this story.

Would very much appreciate more of this. If you ever publish anything on Amazon I would certainly purchase it.

Old Jungle Bunny5e9e

Amazing story

Amazing story please Write mote

Absolutely write more. Please continue.

Each time I read it, it just gets better.

As the title says, I just love this tale you've written and the world you fabricated for it to inhabit. This has to be the third time I've read it and honestly I can't get bored of it. There are no pulled punches in the narration, no jarring shifts in pacing or scenery. It comes across as someone telling a very real story of their own. Going through it doesn't have me feeling like I'm reading but rather like I'm getting immersed in the words and pulled along for a literary fantasy ride.
Your experience of actually being in theatre and having real experiences to relay into your storytelling shines through constantly throughout. That "been there" aspect is just one of those things that adds an edge of realism that can't be matched by any amount of research. No time spent in a library or on a computer can come close to that of being out there with boots on, gun in hand, marching around in 100 degrees of BS everyday for several months. That time spent allows you to be a step above any other author that tries their hand at soldier-themed stories. Myself included.
So thank you for writing this awesome story, it has made time spent during the hurry-up-and-wait game that much more bearable.

Cheers, and Chimo.
Dark Pulse.

I Lost a night of sleep to this novel.

Totally worth it, I truly hope to read a sequel at some point, no rush. I have a brother in the armed forces myself and have nothing but respect for those who have and who are currently serving.

I have read my fair share of "Earth soldier in fantasy setting" type stories on this site myself. This is easily one of my new favorites. I look forward to reading it again!