Champions

PTSD be damned !!

You have a talent may it turn to more inspiration and goodwill for you.
Sic semper tryannis

Outstanding

Please continue.

More please.

Good

Its good, needs some polish but good non the less. Keep it up

Wow, Just Fucking Wow

This story was very entertaining. It has kept me busy for almost 3 days and i'm glad I've made it to the end. Nice plot twist at the end there, didn't see it coming.
Well written, i'd recommend finding a good editor/proof reader to iron out some of your creases and make this into a truelly epic tale.

Self publish the books, i'm sure people out in the world will buy it, i'll be one of them

JC

P.s. I'd be happy to edit for you, check out my works if you desire it.

Awesome

This was a great story and I look forward to more when you have some. ThanK you for sharing this great story. Mechmanas

This story rocks!

Excellent job! Thank you for sharing it. I'll look forward to reading anything else you post. Thanks again.

S

Very excellent.

I like the world you have created. The story was fun and it was a very good read. Never dull and boring in any part.

One of the best damn reads for a while.

This story is a long one, but well worth reading. It never seemed to drag or got into too little or too much detail. Great story arc and interesting characters and well thought out plot twists. It really conjours up the imagination and sets the scenes perfectally. Also, one of the few stories that actually try to get the military side of things correct (as far as I know). Brilliant work, if you do a sequel, I'll be looking forward to it!
A*

Thumbs Up!!!

Excellent story, interesting plot, only issues very minor typos/grammar (eg. "their" not "there," if that sort of thing really bothers you, yeesh!!!) Very much enjoyed the character progression and authenticity of the dialog. That the author actually knows what he's talking about re: military tactics/terminology is most welcome. Have someone edit this and make extremely minor changes, and you're ready for print. Or a screenplay.

Champions is on AMAZON!

Thanks in large part to the contributions and suggestions from all of you I have published this on Amazon (specifically a very much improved version). It is presented under my pen-name "Kenny Michaels" and it is called "Awakening: Uncensored Edition (Champions (UE) Volume 1)". There is also a non-erotic version titled "Awakening: Standard Edition (Champions (SE) Volume 1)". There is a link on my profile to get you there faster. It is available as cheap as I could make it ($2.99). Sorry I couldn't get it any lower. But don't feel obligated to purchase it. The first draft of Volume 2 will still be here as soon as I can get it written. Decent sales of this work will just get it here sooner.

Amazing

I honestly enjoyed your story great read will definitely buy your stuff on Amazon.

I couldn't stop reading

I'm truly amazed. I absorbed myself into this story as quickly I ever have with the best best books I've ever read. I have nothing but praise for this story and how you weaved it, and I can't wait for the rest of your books. Please don't stop!

Great story.

I enjoyed it very much and am looking forward to the next two.

Write on

I have a pretty strong impression that your writing is cathartic for you. I loved this novel, and I think I'd love the rest of your work. But, here's the important thing: do it for you. I'm guessing that you will HAVE to write, since that's what writers do.

You might have a choice about what you write, maybe, but your fingers will itch until you start putting something down on paper (or the computer screen). Let it out and share it if it feels appropriate.

Best of luck

Write on Part 2 (Should have read earlier comments first)

Congratulations on your book! Keep up the great work. I look forward to reading more!

Cool Story

Really a great story. Kept me hooked and wanting to read more. Would really appreciate if you follow up on it, its got a great storyline and has got the potential for being absolutely mind blowing, so you should keep writing.
I would suggest that you use an editor though, 'cause in this big a story, errors can creep up inadvetantly.
I dont want to sound forward, but I am myself an editor and would be happy to help.
{Ignore my profile name, wanted it to mean something and turned out something else ;-) }

I WANT to read MORE

Hello Mr Eagle101,
I enjoyed your story, the part of the story detailing your time Stan-side was interesting to read about, I really liked the way the story progressed, perhaps with new found magic the DPM uniform could be turned black/grey in an effort not to stand out. Whilst the aspect of the modern warrior being taken to another space/time/dimension has been done before, the way your story has progressed was enjoyable to read and is different. . I look forward to reading the next part of the story.

Former Nat. Guard ....

This story is arguably one of the best I've ever read on this site. I've been reading stories on this site, and damn near all others, for more than 15 years now... Please, holy what ever you want to believe... please keep writing this story out.

And yes, once it is done, you should ABSOLUTELY consider getting it published. Some of it will need to be edited for public reading... but this story is absolutely amazing! It will go far if you will it!

Wonderful!

Every once in a while a story comes along that is so far above the rest that merely giving it the maximum five stars possible feels inadequate. This is certainly one of those. Everything about it from the character development to the pacing and plot are satisfying and professional.

I am particularly appreciative of the length. It's extremely rare to be able to enjoy a complete story without all the annoying back and forth that usually interrupts the story's flow.

Thank you so much and I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the rest of your tale.

Nthusiastic

Really enjoyable reading

Publicly or privately, "Just kudoes." I think that's how it's spelled...To be sure enough of yourself to share this is fantastic. To be able to read and enjoy it as I have, is also fantastic. Thanks for the real enjoyment I found in this story, and I do hope I get to finish the story.

update

looking for the 5 star button

Not bad for a Flatfoot 😉

First let me say that you boys in the 101st are almost as sharp as us Leathernecks 😉- so I'm not surprised that you knocked out a good story. I especially liked the realistic details on David's kit (I too much preferred the Mk. 48 over the standard M249 as a LMG) but I also thought you did a good job with the magical and mythological side of things. I'm not sure if you have read Flame of Cytherea, another good literotca story, but there were some overall similarities between the stories that you might want to check out as a reference. I too began writing as a way to deal with PTSD and difficulty finding a decent job after a life in the service, and eventually convinced myself to post on literotca, though I've only recently begun to actually take care to edit and try to write entertaining stories for the sake of my few readers. I will definitely endeavor to read any other works that you submit.


-Lucius Grey
Formerly Cpl. 1st SOB, USMC

Great start to a wonderful series!

The writing and content were phenomenonal, and there were very few if any continuity or grammatical errors. I'm definitely looking forward to what comes next!

Rendezvous With Destiny

Great work bud. Your indepth details of US Army tactics, techniques and procedures blended with the fantasy world and a common sense protagonist really sucked me in.
The erotic scenes were good, but I have admit that the actual characters and story was my main focus.
Can't wait to see what's next. Conjuring Claymores, Mk34 and Carl Gustavs against heavy cavalry?

Hoping for more

I very much enjoyed your story and encourage you to continue writing.

I am waiting!

Best I have read!

Great story telling. I look foreword to the next Installment or book!

More! More! More!

I will be awaiting the next installment with bated breath!

Stop looking for work and write!!

I have just finished your story and must admit I did not see the twist at the end, nicely done. Your writing and story telling is of a high level and I enjoyed the way you painted the picture of the story in a flowing tapestry.
I agree with a previous comment, every good writer needs a good editor. It will resolve some of the things that a writer with his head in the story will not see, whole to close to the trees scenario.
Added you to my favourites list and will be looking for the next instalments, don't leave us hanging.

KEEP IT UP!

You Have a Great Talent! Use it! Please Continue This Work! Hooked! Need More!!!

Thank you

I have also read a lot of stories on this site and have enjoyed many of them, but as of this moment your story is my favorite so far, its beautifully written and hits many of the things that interest me. it was a story i couldn't stop reading, that's the best of praise.......So, Thank you

YES!

Yes, please continue your writing and this story! It's the best I've read of its type.
Semper Fi.

had no choice but to vote 5 stars

i spent two evenings chewing through the story
conclusion i enjoyed it although some elements i found grating/annoying

however for 37 pages that in the most part i found fun, interesting, engaging, entertaining ..it deserved a 5 star vote

On the question of whether you should continue?.
i would say YES

on the question of wether you should attmept to Self Publish?.
at this point i would say NO
(reason being i would advise finishing the 1st three books / 1st trilogy and then reflect on any tidying up / editing / plot changes / corrections you might wish to implement , before exploring publishing)

so all that leads into the most important Question
Are you the Author Enjoying Writing this Tale
Are you Enjoying the process & having fun
can you see yourself continuing to enjoy the process through at least the next two books ....

IF the answer to that 3 part question is YES .YES , YES
then what we the reader/viewer thinks is pretty much immaterial

godbless & ty for sharing your writing with us

great story

I really enjoyed your story and am looking forward to further installments.

epic

I have read almost every epic story on lit.
but yours is Above the epic .
please continue....

great job

Keep it up. You have a natural talent

Too good

Keep up with the good work.

more please

some grammar mistakes but over all a very enjoyable read thank you and please continue.

You're an absolute genius when it comes to this

The title says it all.
I would sincerely hope that you do continue to write the stories for David, and perhaps share them with us here or let us know where to get access to them.
I'll be mentioning you in my next continuation as a place to come while i'm away writing, sorry but your story is just too good to miss.
JC

MORE MORE MORE!! PLEASE!!!

From another vet

Excellent work. Great plotline and I really enjoyed your storytelling.

Please do not abandon this story

It gets very disheartening to find that most of the really good stories in SciFi are unfinished. Yours is realy good so far. 5*

5 stars!

I hope to see a second book/chapter to this work. I've got to find out what happens to the trio.

fucking amazing but there was some issue for me but still 5/5 rating

i have read it 4 times now and it is so good rated it 5/5 but there were some issues for me cause i was a bit triggered when i read it due to david's behaviour towards laura i think + i became a bit mad that i started hitting my self with things and started bashing my head in the wall while shouting while kept getting mad at david for his behaviour every time i read it but still fucking loved it.Dont stop posting dude keep it up.

Cracking opening chapter.

Cracking opening chapter. Really sets up your story and characters well. Looking forward to the next instalment.

good stuff

Enjoyed to story and would like more.

It's dangerous to make the heroes to powerful in the beginning. Nothing to gain from doing stuff. It's hard to level up when you have more magic then you can handle already.

Great Book

I have just finished reading after three days of nonstop reading fucking amazing!!!

Excellent Read

Excellent story, imossible to stop reading, i just spent my entire day off reading it. Thank you for this great tale. Please finnish the saga you have planned for the trio. The plot just begs for more.

Wow

Really good story and looking forward to reading more from you.

Sequel?

Any updates for a sequel for this piece? It is one of the better plots on here and has enough twists to make an engaging read with just enough sensuality to make it fun.