Wow. The story.....is ok....but, in trying to get to the sex, you seemed to rush yourself....too fast to be a realistic first encounter. Nothing wrong with that, but, since he'd known her quite a while....what flicked her switch? Great descriptions, just not as much "body" to the story to help make it convincing!
HOWEVER!!!!!!
Whomever you chose as the model for your bio is OUTSTANDING. Wow! I copied the pic and kept it on the screen as I read the story....hahahaha.....
Thanks for your first story....keep 'em coming!!!! Just don't change the picture to some sort of silly animal or seascape!
Wow. The story.....is ok....but, in trying to get to the sex, you seemed to rush yourself....too fast to be a realistic first encounter. Nothing wrong with that, but, since he'd known her quite a while....what flicked her switch? Great descriptions, just not as much "body" to the story to help make it convincing!
HOWEVER!!!!!!
Whomever you chose as the model for your bio is OUTSTANDING. Wow! I copied the pic and kept it on the screen as I read the story....hahahaha.....
Thanks for your first story....keep 'em coming!!!! Just don't change the picture to some sort of silly animal or seascape!
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