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Well, sticky
You got the horrified part correct. Your little bit at the end intended to indicate this was a consenual fantasy cum true, it fell flat. Too little and too late. The rancid taste of nonconsent has tainted it too well. A master that would fulfill such a fantasy so completely is not concerned for their slave.
Needs a bit of work
This is a good start, good overall story line, however I don't like the face slaps. There are other ways to get ones attention that are more effective. Also pay more attention to the sex scenes, give more detail pull them out a bit more than in this chapter. It wasn't very clear to me the sexual position of the first man that left her open for the second man. Give more clarity to that part. Keep writing it is a good first effort.
hate it when people call them sluts,cunts
i dont know why but it annoys me when they get called all rude names
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