All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 041'

by Tefler

Sort by:
  • 44 Comments
chaser73065chaser73065almost 8 years ago
Keep it up

Keep it up the story is really good I really look forward to the next chapter every time I'm usually reading it at 4 am or so I really hope you finish this story and not leave us hanging.

thalt992000thalt992000almost 8 years ago
Well that was a dark ending

Really well laid out chapter. Good pacing I thought she was gonna have a darker past than believe. With her father almost disowning her to her acting out as bad as she was .but I feel in a way Alyssa dropped the ball she should have had her good bad to the drop ship the second she was distracted because her head wasn't in it anymore and she could have had the wounded follow her. Makes me feel that this may slow the crew down now feeling like Rachel may now be close to being catatonic. Which I could see them having Alyssa delveing into Rachel mind to try and bring her out of it. Plus did anyone pick up how the bot wasn't brought up when Dana and Rachel went back to engineering bay.

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
In response to thalt992000

Not too dark I hope?

But yes, Rachel has a troubled past, which I'll explore in more detail as the story progresses.

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
Grateful thanks to my editors!

Thanks very much for your hard work on editing this chapter, and for all the good ideas.

In particular, thanks to Melanpolca, who gave me some lengthy feedback on my ideas for the Progenitor physiology, and the "change", which Rachel has started to reveal.

Cheers!

Tefler

Inevitable_Inevitable_almost 8 years ago
Another very enjoyable chapter

First things first, one piece of constructive criticism when it comes to your writing. Be careful that you don't lose the character's personality while giving them speech exposition. Sometimes a character comes across like you instead of their own personality when describing some story detail. I'm referencing Jade's first comments on shape-shifting this chapter. I'm not a writer so I can't really say how to improve/be aware of this type of thing, but something to keep in mind.

Really looking forward to seeing Calara split her focus in multiple directions in a fight with the Invictus if Dana's Apache style multitasking applies to all of them.

Good to see we're well on our way to serving the robot overlords, especially if they are smiley.

Incredibly cool idea with the lion identification system.

Now onto what most of the comments will probably be about. This is an interesting new step for you as a writer and for this story and I'm really curious how it goes. They were pirates but they had surrendered and she more or less murdered 20 people in cold blood. Jade could've stopped her but didn't, Alyssa didn't keep a close enough eye on her emotions, especially after the first time. She also didn't inform John which wasn't ideal. How do you swear 100 plus civilians to secret on this(honestly probably the easiest part to deal with). All of this isn't even taking into account her mental state at having just murdered 20 people in a fit of rage. I think I know what the logical solution is to her mental state but I don't like to give my own speculation as it ruins the fun for others. Everything has been relatively light so far, sure a lot of people have been killed but it's been very black and white.

I'm sure I'll think of more as I sleep on it.

Given the editing time and Lit's recent slowdown, I'm guessing Sat at the earliest and that makes me sad.

P.S glad you brought the assfucking blowjob scene back, always a favourite.

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
In response to inevitable

Thanks for the advice about the exposition coming from characters, I'll bear that in mind for the future.

I'm glad you liked the shoulder pad idea, the tactical station upgrade and the robots. I'll be coming back to each of those as the story progresses, so I hope everyone likes how they pan out.

With regard to Rachel and the Pirates... I follow up on events directly at the start of chapter 42 (which is done, just being edited). I'll be interested to hear what you think.

CrescentRoseCrescentRosealmost 8 years ago
Good chapter, rushed for the finish

Great chapter overall. The pacing was well done in my opinion up until the end. The reveal with Rachel and the reaction from John felt a little rushed to me. Maybe it's just me, but i think that portion needed to be flushed out a little more. Other than that, good work!

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
In response to Crescent Rose

Thanks for the comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it up until the end. :-)

I go into John's reaction in more detail in the next chapter, which should be available in a few days.

I normally make each chapter about 15k words (5 pages on literotica), but chapter 41 is actually nearly 21k. I find google docs struggles when documents get too big, so I typically try and keep to the same size for each chapter. I could have dealt with the whole pirate encounter in chapter 42, but there hadn't been any action for a while, so I thought I'd add it to the end of 41 instead.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Another solid one

So first thing first, Jade Jade Jade! always my #1 girl period.

We're starting to learn a bit more of the coming challenges.

The other Progenitors steering trouble now with the terren forces, and I guess no escape from the AI issue now created by Dana.

Have to agree Alicia did fucked up not noticing Rachel state, up till now she managed to read and communicate with all the crew simultaneously so marks down.

Regarding the lioness holograms not to keen on it, after the previous chapter I thought you might go the power rangers path (coloring the armor) so this is better, BUT if your too far away or trying to be stealth and the holo's shining bright its a burden, wouldn;t it be easier to add augmented reality to their helmet visors?

As it seem John genetics only started working either its a (late) maturing issue, or called by need? we'll see if it (genes) might overcome his upbringing and change his goals.

Last with the immortality decided I guess no more female requirements, this still leave you able to add a-sexual characters as in androgynous / incompatible aliens as crew.

PussyLickersRusPussyLickersRusalmost 8 years ago
Sad, but classic

For those of you who do not recognize it, the end, with Rachel, was a CLASSIC P.T.S.D. episode. Some innocuous trigger causes one to completely shut down mentally and act/react as if they are in another place and time. Unfortunately for Rachel, it happened in a high stress situation when the collateral damage was unfortunate and unfixable. A person in the throes of a PTSD episode cannot be rationalized with. Only after it has passed can the person be reached, by anybody. And this is before Rachel could 'hear' or was completely connected to Alyssa. I applaud Tefler for creating such a realistic recreation. And wonder about how he knows the scenario so well. My wife suffers from it (and I live with it) as a result of abuse (no, from her ex), so I have necessarily become somewhat knowledgeable myself. It is a very real mental illness. My question however, is how was this not 'fixed' by the transformation (unless the transformation is still ongoing...hint hint)?

As for Anon (why do people post without giving their name...makes no sense...not like you can't be tracked) and the AI issue: I can see more of a psychic control of the robots as Dana applies the psy-shaper tech to battlefield conditions.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Military jargon

It's a small matter, but Marines do not have Drill Sergeants. We have Drill Instructors. A DI would tear a kid a new one if he ever called one of them a Drill Sergeant.

jayb2204jayb2204almost 8 years ago
Another excellent chapter

Love how you make the characters more real with the in depth descriptions of the characters. Can't wait when it's Jades turn.

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
Drill sergeant/instructors

That was interesting, I looked it up as I didn't realise there was a distinction. As you say, drill instructors for the U.S. marines, drill sergeants for the US army.

The Terran Federation ranks are based on a hybrid of the US and UK armed forces, so I'll leave it as it is, but thanks for the information.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Chill

Rachel should be a psychiatrist and promote this new therapy for others.

Kill fifty scumbags that deserve to die, get some rest, and I bet you will feel better tomorrow.

soreireisoreireialmost 8 years ago
Totally awesome

Just when I think your story could not get better wham you hit us with a chapter like this, just wow!!!!

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
Thanks for the nice comments

Thanks to chaser73065, jayb2204, soreirei and anonymous for taking the time to post a comment. I'm pleased to hear that you liked the latest chapter.:-)

TeflerTefleralmost 8 years agoAuthor
In response to PussylickersRus

Sorry to hear about your wife, that sounds awful. Abusive relationships are terrible things, and I've known a couple of girls who've been in them. The really frustrating thing is them going back to an abusive partner, thinking that they've "changed", but the cycle of abuse soon starts all over again.

I was... conflicted, about using this as a backstory for Rachel, but in the end I decided to stick with my original idea. It was a tricky scene to write, but I hope it came across as sympathetic for her.

I have no personal experience of PTSD, but I've read a lot about people suffering flashbacks from traumatic events, and then trying to deal with the aftermath. Falklands vets for example: I believe more British soldiers have lost their lives to suicide in the years that followed, than actually died in the conflict itself, which is tragic.

"My question however, is how was this not 'fixed' by the transformation"

That's a very good question, but one I can't answer without spoilers. All I can say for the moment, until more is revealed in the story, is that the 'change' isn't a mindwipe. The girls are still affected by events from their past, (eg Dana and her reaction to meeting Calara's family).

wingnitwingnitalmost 8 years ago
Good chapter

I am definitely enjoying this story! I like how you go into the independent lives of everyone and that they're not just harem girls. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next installment.

PussyLickersRusPussyLickersRusalmost 8 years ago
To Tefler:

Thank you for the kind thoughts. And you hit the scenario right on the head, and the final sentences sealed the compassion for her. Excellently and tastefully done! My compliments. Now for a criticism: WRITE FASTER!!!!!! lol

muze1602muze1602almost 8 years ago
I'm with soreirei on this chapter

Always eagerly awaiting the next action packed chapter and then you add in this little human scenario. Cool stuff.

wet_specialwet_specialover 7 years ago
You have excelled yourself yet again

This chapter just plain rocked. Great sex pounding out the individual personalities of these five fine girls. Entertaining depictions of science and research, charming bits of dialogue, an exciting rescue with powerful emotions. Tefler, when you went back to chapter 1 to explain that your writing style would develop over time, I was curious what you were alluding to and admittedly, I had my doubts as to how much better you would get in a mere eight months or so. I am pleased to say that you have every right to make the claim, and really I'm just impressed at what leaps and bounds you have made while doing all of this writing. How do you do so much writing?

The beginning was simple and direct, like a solo piano just opening up with a basic melody at the start of a song. Well, one by one different sections of the orchestra have joined in, and we've heard the chorus on Oceanus. Just when I thought the matter played to finality, you present the coda of a symphony, and a teaser to remind us that this epic saga is far from over!

VectiviuzVectiviuzover 7 years ago
Wondering

It might Be I just didn't notice but I dont think you ever said what color Johns lion was and small details like that always intrigue me i was just wondering what color his lion is

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Jade

I think jade & other nymphs may be left over surviving slaves of some ancient dying progenitor, who altered them into being able to serve other maaters after his own death, as some sort of twisted benevolence, hoping that his nymphs may find happiness for the rest of their natural lives serving men in a lifestyle they were accustomed too.

After all, nymphs find great pleasure in pleasing their masters. This would also explain why they never reproduced, were so small in number, naturally oriented towards sex, seem immortal, etc.

The shapeshifting & telepathy are great tools for fighting for your master.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Shall we play a game?

I love the playfulness you continue to add to your sex scenes. This line one particular got me thinking:

Alyssa looked at him, and he could almost see the mischievous delight radiating off her, as she asked him, "How would you feel about playing a little game?"

And suddenly I thought, he’s never played who’s who! They should binldfold him and maybe put ear plugs in if they can’t keep quiet, then they take turns sexing him up. Because they have near identical bodies or at least body types, the game is to see if he can guess who he is fucking by their styles. He keeps fucking the same girl till he guesses the right person. But you will have to think up some suitable ideas for the penalty for a wrong guess.

ramblin2020ramblin2020over 3 years ago

Might be the best chapter yet. Lots of good action and development both!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

Every chapter is like two spoons of ice cream and I am left wanting for more.

Fabulously written. 👍🏼

Is everything going to go 💥

blooms2000blooms2000over 3 years ago
bodies

with the focus on grief in this chapter, you should mention the bodies of the dead women. most customs would have prioritized bringing them along

WretchedMonkeyWretchedMonkeyover 2 years ago

@blooms2000 - RE: 'bodies'

Do you mean the bodies of the dead 3 women? The relatives of the people crammed into all the available area? The bloody bodies that were recently murdered and would look shocking to those relatives and children in the dropship? The bodies that would take up valuable space on a crowded ship escaping a mining outpost that could possibly explode at any point?

I think prioritising the living and just escaping would be the better option, and probably avoid mentally scarring those that could be affected by having to share the ship space with the bloody corpses.

Michael56SmithMichael56Smithover 2 years ago

I tend to agree with an anonymous commenter from last year who said: "Every chapter is like two spoons of ice cream, and I am left wanting for more."

Fabulously written... ;-) TTFN

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

I understand separating being necessary for Rachel’s character progression, but it still seems supremely stupid to go after the pirate boss when he’s set the place to blow. Just bounce.

caveman21936caveman21936almost 2 years ago

Please. What Rachel did was not murder. What the pirates did was murder. What Rachel did was stop the pirates from ever murdering again, in the only way that is sure to succeed.

Jackspeed2uJackspeed2uover 1 year ago

Caveman. I agree Rachel didn’t murder the pirates. All pirates are under a death sentence in the Terran Federation and it’s extraordinary for a pirate to have death commuted to life in prison. So Rachel just executed them. I’m not sure if this was mentioned earlier or later in the story, it’s my third time reading it.

Michael56SmithMichael56Smithover 1 year ago

Rachel says, "My mummy is not coming home again either", then she opens the door, ... and that brought tears to my eyes. :-) TTFN

skippersdadskippersdadover 1 year ago

This is so great been binging this for the past few days, as for the pirats they got better than they deserved.

Ravey19Ravey19about 1 year ago

Wondered about Rachel's past, knew it was traumatic but though it might be something different.

Jackspeed2uJackspeed2u11 months ago

Just a thing, totally off base with this chapter though…

Laser power Vs effective power. They are different totally different.

So if you have a 1000 watt laser then that’s it’s power and we will assume it’s 100% efficient with no power lost between power input to beam creation. So now you’re shooting something with it but that target can withstand laser attacks of up to 1000 watts per square meter ( just random numbers). Now can our laser do damage to that target?

Well now effective power comes into play. If the laser is quite diffuse with say a 10 square meter beam foot print then it has an effective power of only 100 watts per square meter. No where near enough to damage the target even though the total power is a big enough number. So what to do?

Beam focusing. Now if the 10 square meter beam footprint is focused down using lenses to say 1 square meter then it just reaches the effective power required to damage the target. Nice right, but we want total destruction of a target material in as short a time as possible. So now we try and focus the beam as much as possible. Is for numbers sake we focus it down to 1 square centimetre foot print then the 1000 watt laser now has an effective power of 10 000 000 watts per square meter YES 10 million or 10 mega watts per square meter effective power. So now that target material that could withstand 1000 watts per square metre will have a 1 square centimetre hole blasted right through it almost instantaneously just like it wasn’t even there.

Considering firing at space ships and people in a vacuum, high tech targets that are airtight and pressurised and people leak a lot when holed, boring a 1 square centimetre hole right through it would totally fuck up a person and a space ship would rapidly decompress, smaller ships will decompress faster, and you have the large chance of hitting / destroying high tech ship components that are of vital importance.

So it would end up being a case of death by 1000 watt cuts with each one slowing down the target until it’s destroyed.

Focusing presents difficulties. The lenses have to be perfectly optically transparent for the light wave length used in the laser or you will just be shooting and destroying your lens system. LASER light is perfectly collimated when produced so the beam area is the size of the crystal being energised. Now focusing it will make the beam into a cone, wide base at the laser and the point at the target end. Unless you have a continuously variable focusing system that has the focused point always that the distance that the target is then the beam will focus to a point at some set distance then start to diffuse in a cone the same shape and dimensions as the cone that got it there.

Work around. In WW1 the aircraft shit machine guns that fired perfectly straight ahead like a laser. In WW2 the aircraft guns were angled inwards or focused to a point at a few hundred yards I think it was 200 or 300 yards that all the bullets converged to one point. The object being that that was the usual shoot down range so the damage delivered would be absolutely overwhelming to the target causing structural failure even if nothing vital was hit. So focusing weak weapons to increase affect power is old tech.

So if in TSM world the LASER weapons have a max range in a vacuum ( space in a star system has about 100 particles or atoms per cubic meter, see Scott Manley YouTube video) so the in a star system the range isn’t infinite but compared to earth’s sea level atmosphere has billions and billions of atoms per cubic meter then stellar space is hardly anything at all. Interstellar space, the space in between the stars in the same galaxy is only about 10 atoms per cubic meter and intergalactic space, the space between each galaxy is something like 3 atoms per cubic metre. So in real life with high powered LASERs, in real terms, a properly produced LASER beam has no max range in space and will travel at the speed of light at full power indefinitely. Yes it gets slowly whittled down in power as individual photons, light particles, hit an atom and impart their energy then some most or all of the energy increases the atom temperature as in it vibrates faster or if it’s a molecule then the photon can break the atomic bonds and run ot into smaller molecules or even back to atoms and lastly the atoms can have their electrons energised making them raise in power shells only to drop back down and emit that absorbed energy back out in a random direction or I forgot the photon could just get reflected by a sufficiently shiny thing. So that beam power reduction and scattering in a nutshell.

So if the crew had ONE ultra high powered laser and then had ONE focusing system then they could use that to punch through unshielded ships.

Oh shields you say… well hypothetically speaking about a hypothetical device that in just about every space world is designed to stop energy attacks, LASERs and the like. Then focusing your energy weapon to a point is well, pointless. Since the shield acts as a whole. So you just need to deliver total watts of power into the shield within a given time frame to overwhelm the shield and collapse it. THEN focused beams come into play.

In TSM with max range limited beams then having a focus set to the max range would mean max damage happens at that max range with damage decreasing back to normal unfocused levels bac at the ship. So no matter what the target range within the max range, the target is always getting increased effective power and damage as a result. Or you can check your battle logs and get the best range to set the focus at and as long as it’s equal or grate than half the max Effective range then the target being hit will always be getting more effective power on it no matter where it is and the most often used range gets the max effective power on it.

This is all just for fun and lasers already have focusing lenses within them to fix the beam into a beam and so on. Ruby LASERs are red and so on and LASER is an acronym so it should always be in capitals such as ETA and the like, imagine ETA being in lower case eta. Oh and in the plural the last ‘s’ is lowercase, so it’s one LASER and two or more LASERs.

My musings that have nothing to do with this chapter.

Iove this story but I can’t buy the 4 books since they are on bloody Amazon, down with Blue Origin, which only sells kindle compatible books not EPUB books that Apple uses and I’m not getting another bloody app just to simulate a shit book format. Who makes an electronic book that’s not lit? Really? Every thought of reading in bed, like ever? But it was the first, I think, so it had to start somewhere and everything else builds upon its shoulders to greater heights. Still stone inscribed tables were a starter book and we don’t use those anymore so why is the Kindle still being pushed and emulators being programmed? My brother in law is a tech early adopter Nd he had a kindle and as far as he thinks the only thing it has going is battery life and that at the expense of functionality and you can always put in a bigger battery.

Jackspeed2uJackspeed2u11 months ago

It’s a death sentence for piracy so no crimes committed by Rachel, maybe it will turn out to be cathartic.

Jackspeed2uJackspeed2u11 months ago

I wish Literotica had a thumbs up or down for each comment. Some are desperately in need of thumbs up. It would save me writing some comments.

ranec1ranec111 months ago
Mean As!!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"I love being here with you guys,"

Michael56SmithMichael56Smith10 months ago

... a sobbing and partially broken Rachel, a Menacing Jade Tiger, and a pissed-off John Blake. those poor pirates never saw them coming, ... and about a hundred people were rescued, ... the Invictus crew sure does love to take out the scumbag pirates, ... ;-) ttfn

Rhino77PIlotRhino77PIlot9 months ago

The sword is singing!

Michael56SmithMichael56Smith8 months ago

In special armor, with rail guns, and a Jade tiger, ... those stupid pirates were toast even before they knew the fire was lit, ... I like that the Lions of the Federation love to take out pirates, ...

-- And they have had Dana, their Grand Engineering Overlord, on board, with her well stocked and magnificent Engineering Bay, only for a few short months, and now with incredible building materials like Invictium, .... just wait for a few more months and Dana will have them totally unstoppable, .... a wonderful pirate hunt with their 'pet' tiger, .... fun, ... ;-) ttfn

ranec1ranec18 months ago
WHERE IS IT!!

patiently waiting for the yellow N

Michael56SmithMichael56Smith4 months ago

Wow, Doctor Rachel has a dark past, ... a sobbing and partially broken Rachel, a Menacing Jade Tiger, and a pissed-off John Blake. those poor pirates never saw them coming, ... and about a hundred people were rescued, ... the Invictus crew sure does love to take out the scumbag pirates, ... ;-) ttfn

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userTefler@Tefler
6771 Followers
Please see my Patreon page for the current progress on Three Square Meals. (I usually announce it here in the comments on the last chapter too!) https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3814558 I've added empire maps, as well as pics of the ships, guns, gear, and girls! *** ...

READ MORE OF THIS SERIES