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Change in tense?
It was short and sweet, but I got a little confused towards the end when It went from first person to second...
Changes ruin tension!
This would have been a truly hot story, had the author bothered to edit it properly. My guess is that the tale began as a second-person ( I - you ), and was eventually changed into a first-person ( I - he ) narrative, but a few sentences got missed in the editing process.
Unfortunately, those jarring changes in 'person' absolutely destroyed the sexual tension the author was building, in the story.
I agree
This story had the makings of a hot narrative, but because of the bad editing, I am left limp and unloaded. I did give 3 stars for the storyline . Please use a editor or find a better one next time and try again. Good luck.
Great
I loved the change in perspective, nice twist to bring the reader in. Fuck the haters
when mom becomes Bride for me
Stepmothers are always a pleasure to step in and decorate the room of her cunt with lot of cum.
I hope my son will do to his stepmother, they are already being processed.
I hope one day he will cuckold me.
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