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English
STORY?
STORIES SHOULD HAVE AN ENDING. THIS ONE DID NOT. ON THIS SITE A STORY SHOULD HAVE AN EROTIC THEME. THIS ONE TRIED BUT FAILED. PERHAPS THE WEITER COULD TRY AGAIN AND PROOF READ THE NEXT ATTEMPT.
Good introduction
I figure there has to be an error in submission, and this was the first portion of a story, because otherwise, as the previous poster stated, there is neither conflict, nor resolution, though the introduction was well described and built tension nicely. Not too keen on the new roommate, but I'd like to know more about the POV character and see her in action (preferably m/f).
A Fascinating setup
I think this story has all sorts of interesting possibilities to it, but I'm afraid I have to agree with your other critics thus far. It needs conflict, resolution, etc. All we have right now is a is an intro to what is in my opinion a very interesting world. For example, from what you have written it is obvious that this Japanese girl makes a habit of consuming these large amounts of food, but by your description of the rest of her figure she never gains weight. What is the source of this miracle/magic? Simple purging, or is her masterbatory ritual somewhat involved in the magic? And what about our main POV character, how will she figure into the story? In short, you've got a fascinating introduction but it simply isn't a story without the rest of the plot.
?
Where's the rest of the story?
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