- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
keep going!!!
that was great! add some more! i'd like to see what happens with them next! will she come to him willingly, or run away and get caught, will they fight again, or will he have to prove himself again to her? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!?!?! hurry up with the next one! this was great! good job!
fucking hot
damn, please write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good story
However, i think it would be even better if you painted the enviroments a little better. I gave you 3 stars, because I just dont get a feel for the surroundings.
Great writing, but questionable pace
You have a gift for writing. It is amusing though, that this fictional story is not believable. It is so rushed, and the idea of a monstrous and dominant figure giving up his leverage in front of all of his men, and many other onlookers, seems unlikely. Her being able to overpower this guy with something so silly as licking a sword is weird. However, I do have faith that the characters you have created show much promise, so I look forward to reading your next chapters. I can see the brilliance in your writing potential.
Down the drain
So much for being trained since 5 years old. She was dumb and unskillful. Way to go.
Just do not write anymore. This was horrible.
Please don't listen to LuvTracker
Please finish the series been waiting for two years
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Prize Ch. 01 or
More submissions by CharmingVixen.