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English
Please, you need to proofread.
I gave you a four, mainly because the story has good potential, but you really need to take more time to proofread. There were a number of spelling errors and missing words, and that disrupts the flow of the story.
Proofreading
"Latter" instead of "ladder" is just careless. "Conceded" instead of "conceited" is ignorance but "left her warning or unsatisfied"? What the hell did that mean?
Good story but...
Good story but too many mistakes ! You should read it before posting it ! :) The story is awesome otherwise !
sure, a bunch of typos have to be fixed, but still
a great story, typical of MTB. I love young John's attitude. He's a lusty young male, a nonstop semen producing machine, and knows where's the perfect place to blow his young balls and shoot his semen. It's up the warm wet hairy holes that his nearest and dearest have between their thighs, his sister Tina and especially his own mother Rita. At first Tina's jealous of John's penchant for climbing on top of their mom and pumping away, and she hilariously curses him as an "incestuous bastard"--oblivious to her own enjoyment of Johnny's great work up her sweet sisterly slit and her great cums when he unloads his brotherly balls up her tight little twat. But Tina's forced to concede that John's an invaluable family asset and that Rita's got a perfect right to her own kid's fat young cock and a mother's portion of her own son's endless supply of warm creamy semen. Just goes to show--family cocks belong up family cunts and family sperm from family balls belongs up welcoming family twats. Family is everything.
Two cents worth...
The story is pretty good with some genuine thoughtfulness and, even the usual bit of rivalry/competition between siblings etc. but, you make so many elemental mistakes in spelling, context, omitted words, and even switching characters names here and, there it makes following along difficult and, often frustrating... It's obvious you probably didn't do well in English and, you either don't proof read or, do it poorly before posting but, there are many who are good at it here and, likely would be glad to help out if you'd just post a simple request for help... Think about it...
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