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Deaconstown Ch. 03

byAvaRedux44©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous06/17/16

try to make it a bit longer and a bit realistec

nice so far, but it is short being one page only.
also try to ease off on the "all the girls are supermodels" theme

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by DarkTranscendence06/18/16

tie up all the loose ends

This is going in a nice direction but you can't make everyone super hot. Maybe give them some more characteristics unique to them besides hair color, like the tattoos for Julia and Natalie, that was nice. Maybe introduce a couple more dudes. Clay has to have a "guy best friend" at least. Still, the concept of this story is great and it's descriptive. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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