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English
Always a next time, Wench!
Dampy,
This was such a fun read! I enjoyed the build up during the hike. Nothing like a good sweat under the hot sun to accentuate a girl's charms. :)
Loved the last two lines. Now I've got imaginative scenes dancing in my brain about just what 'There was', might have entailed. Nothing like a natural tease, imo.
~lucky
Great Story!
A really great story that incorporated the Earth Day theme and was well written! Lots of tease, great pace and when the sex finally happened it was explosive and exciting. Good luck in the contest Dampy, and keep up your great standard of writing.
As usual
As usual Dampy, I loved the story, made me feel as though I was walking right along with them!
Where's a cabin when you need one? lol
Thanks for the vacation,
Cealy
Natures Charm~
Letting the animal out...Nature takes over...woo hoo. Very enjoyable tale. Thanks Damp. (~_*)
DAMN!
and again, DAMN!
Tease indeed!
*fans self*
Wow! A very hot read!
The thing I loved best about this story was the timing. As your characters teased each other, you teased your readers in perfect synchronicity. I loved that! The pace of the story quickened when I wanted it to. Delightful!
Swallow
I kept waiting I knew it would eventually cum! So swallow already dampy! Kisses to you my sweet beautiful princess.
Oh my!
This was so hot! The build-up was slow but boy the sex was anything but! Great story! Good luck!
You've got a winner
DP,
Now don't go getting the big head, but that was real good. Granted, you did leave out an "a" (I felt "A" slight tightening..." and using the cliche', "He was on me in a flash," was regrettable. But something tells me about 100% of the readers won't notice and if any do, they won't care. :)
A fun, well-paced, hot read. Congratulations.
Bravo
A well-written erotic tale. Great build-up and pacing. The settings and situations were realistic and easy to identify with. A quality piece of work. Thanks for the reading pleasure.
YOU...
... make teasing into an art form! Extremely hot story, Dampy.
Great build up
Excellent build up. However, thought the sex scene was too short.
I'd Love to Be Vince!
Per your request, I won't share the fantasies you've started, but if you have a lover, Ms. Damppanties, he must be VERY lucky! No one can write about teasing so well without being pretty good at actually teasing.
Now, I agree with those who say that the actual sex scene was too short and missing detail, but I didn't really mind because I thought that with such a build-up the tease (and maybe both parties) would actually start to lose details in the overwhelming sensations. It was a nice touch, but you shouldn't overdo this.
The set-up scene was somewhat stereotypical, but that's not necessarily bad for a first tease story. I think you are smart to start by sticking to formulae and then trying to (a) keep everything hot and (b) avoid the bad writing of many entries. But branch out in the future. Give the hero or heroine a setting in which being obviously teasing would be difficult and s/he is forced to be subtle and STILL try to bring things to a boil. Then give a setting in which consumating the tease would be hard.
Then, in the sex-scene itself, you have to deliver verbally on the tension you've created in readers. (You certainly created such in me! I work nights and read this after coming home--and had to stop myself from waking up my wife on the spot! [She's not a morning person. The results would NOT have been worth it, so I'm writing this instead. Back to feedback; avoid sharing lustful thoughts.) You have to go into some detail on the sex. The good news is that your powers of description mean that you can keep the vulgarities to a minimum in this description. Some vulgarities (e.g. "FUCK ME NOW, VINCE!" etc.) are natural to such scenes. People say such things in the heat of passion. But it gets SO boring when every other word is fuck and cunt, etc. You have enough vocabulary and imagination to be VERY sexually explicit without being crude--or only selectively crude. I imagine that with practice you can write something mindblowingly hot and completely x-rated without using a single "nasty" word, but then at other times using such terms at just the right moment.
I'm a bit of a writer myself. I write very technical materials professionally and sometimes fiction to amuse myself. Your experiments here may have encouraged me to try my hand at anonymous literotica. (Given my real life, the anonymity would need to be TOTAL and I'm not sure I trust the internet.) I admire your bravery in trying this. Now, I'm gonna read some of your other stuff and try not pass out like your heroine! :)
Goddamn
That was a hot telling Miss DP. I have to say i enjoyed it no end regardless of the fact that it was straight ;) I loved your eloquent tease, you wonderful wonderful wordy wordsmith. Such desire, such lust, such control...loved it every second.
You've inspired me to consider writting a story i didn't think i could pull off. Well, maybe i really cant pull it off, but at least i'll probably write it now!
*kisses to you my dear didi- on the cheek of course ;)*
Can't believe I forgot..
To leave a comment. *pouts slowly* I've read this a few times, and each time I know it's a read well worth coming back to sometime down the line. ~ R
Tease
I really enjoy a good tease and yours was wonderful. You could have drawn it out more and I would have liked it even better. Even so, you made my monogomous juices stir reminding me again that a delightfully sexy woman with an alluring and compelling tease can still turn me on.
Love the tease...
And I'm greatly admiring the phrase "his hands charmed my breasts..." Great story, well done.
S
Hot :-)
Well written, good imagery, articulate descriptions.
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