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English
I can't .........
....quite make my mind up about this poem. It has an uneasy stiffness about it (lines like
"To place us above this Earth so devine.
Higher and Higher we seek to climb." are awkward)
but,I think, has potential. I also question the connection between the prose and illustration.
I think if you worked with
some enjambment on the lines the rhyme will work better. While it is not overbearing here, again I think with your thought ending at each line it puts too much emphasis there. You'll want to fix the typo on "divine". An interesting look at wisdom and dragons.
jim : )
flying.
I loved the second line, "Knowledge our lift and common sense our glide." A quiet mystical strength pervades this work. Lovely colorful illustration is a definite enhancement.
~~
Jim said it rather well; liked the allusion to the dragons.
~~
Jim said it rather well; liked the allusion to the dragons.
THE GROWTH IS DETERMINED
by the intellect. TK U MLJ LV NV
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