The first episode was clunky but had potential, the second was better, this is hot. Your editing has improved, the ideas are good, keep going. Perhaps go for longer chapters in future?
by
Anonymous06/20/16
Acording to plan
Proceeding just as expected, the public hood bang is just a sweet bonus for all.
Still a 4* though due to the length and single act of action.
Just a thought, but the story seems to be missing the on going life to develop it. There is more to a good story than just sex.Do they talk to each other? Do other people talk to them? Where is the life of the story, the build up?
Excellent ch1 then just fucking ZERO story after the first. sorry about the 1* but bdsm is sick to me and has NOTHING to do with love just sick cruelty...
English
Getting much better
The first episode was clunky but had potential, the second was better, this is hot. Your editing has improved, the ideas are good, keep going. Perhaps go for longer chapters in future?
Acording to plan
Proceeding just as expected, the public hood bang is just a sweet bonus for all.
Still a 4* though due to the length and single act of action.
More to the story?
Just a thought, but the story seems to be missing the on going life to develop it. There is more to a good story than just sex.Do they talk to each other? Do other people talk to them? Where is the life of the story, the build up?
Good loving
Make Mitch more sexy -- give him chest hair!
Ch1 5* ch2 1* ch3 3*
Excellent ch1 then just fucking ZERO story after the first. sorry about the 1* but bdsm is sick to me and has NOTHING to do with love just sick cruelty...
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