- All
Comments (12) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
incest
when does the incest start? so far this is a meat beat tale.
Okay so next......
Next installment please. Great start!
Well written, but...
So little to start with. I gave it 5 *s to encourage a next part, but if they continue to be so short it could get irritating.
O.F.
Not a bad scene but...
As another poster said, this was very short, too short. Also a tip from someone whose been writing here awhile. Break up your paragraphs, you have a few really big blocks of text that makes things hard to read.
Also chapters in incest with no incest can work for established authors with a fan base, but doing it right off the bat may not play out to well. If you're going to leave this at the son just getting off to mom, its not quite incest.
I hope you accept this as the well intended advice its meant to be.
More
Great start for a potential series. Please write a follow up where the son actually gets to fuck his slutty mother.
Good start
but proofread.
another chapter 5 stars
2
Pretty brief and superficial. Get an editor. Proofread and correct your own spelling and inappropriate words (to/too, etc.).
Mom, is that you?
for the moment this should be in masturbation.
Give me the incest when it really happens.
for a wanking tale it's not bad and as noted needs some work.
I loved it!
Great work! Very sexy idea. I do hope you make a part two, which it seemed like you were the way that you ended it.
Haha
Good one
Paragraph begins "Turn over Mia"
The word "poisons" is used instead of positions. Careless.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Mom, Is That You? or
More submissions by AR9753.