I agree with @SharedSigne: "Beyond Redemption"!!!! This man is egocentric!!! He has to blackmail a woman to have sex and then he had to be the best lover in the street!!! She now won't need anymore to go fuck young men!!! She lived 20 years next door to "Super Stud (SS)" and only now she finds out...1*
by
Anonymous06/22/16
If English is a second language,
it isn't too bad. Things like "my partner and I find it cult like a scary," leave me wondering what is missing. You capitalize words in the middle of sentences and omit words often. Proof reading would help a lot.
by
Anonymous06/22/16
Just like being there
This story was well set up from the beginning that I found my self in it. This is yet another that I will share with hubby. It made me wet.
Please keep them cuming Peter!
by
Anonymous06/22/16
Yikes!
Our protaganist is a nasty motherfucker. Not a guy worth reading about unless he gets a comeuppance.
2*
JimC
Not the best story on Lit, but not the worst by a long shot
And to the Lit member with the extra !s in their review.
You need a new keyboard. Your ! key is jammed.
by
Anonymous06/22/16
Why does everybody
Hate her husband Dave... He needs to make them all fall and he needs to acquire the narrator's company after he divorces his useless wife. But all is not lost she can go into business with her son. He can rent her out to his friends then she will have her own business.
The protagonist might not have been very lovable, but since when has that been a requirement for good fiction? In fact I seem to remember the villain as protagonist is one of the story types, even if we don’t see it much anymore. Anyway, you did a pretty good job on this one, but it would have been improved with better proofreading.
For me the blackmailing for sex isn’t very erotic, but that’s just one of my hang ups. If 3 ½ were possible that would have been my score, but since it isn’t, I gave you a 4. Good luck and keep writing.
by
Anonymous06/22/16
Yeah ... pretty joyless.
And please - no more "anus-to-vagina" sex. It's a nearly guaranteed way to cause a really, really serious infection.
What I think it's jammed...@MattblackUK: it's people thinking a man behaving like him is acceptable, but if it was a woman she is a slut or a whore...Blackmail is blackmail and a serious crime, no matter the reason or the circunstances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The stories I write are based on true accounts and were written to stimulate the reader. They are not English or grammar assignments and not intended to be morally, legally, hygienically or politically correct.
The positive reactions of my readers far out weigh the negative bull shit spewed by the Lil Ms. Asterisk, Mr. Exclamation point repeater, and the nagging English Professor type assholes.
They don't and will never depict mothers doing sons, fathers on daughters or call a butt a bum or an ass an arse. (how's that for bad English)
"The Neighbor's Wife" is a true account of a successful businessman who sees his much younger neighbor lady giving something away that he would thoroughly enjoy and simply elects to cash in.
Just like you so few critic, misguided, cenacle bastards would do if your bank teller was handing out free dollar bills.
Like most real men, our main character smells, tastes, fingers, feels and experiences everything in her offering, because being mature, he knows that sex isn't the destination, it's the journey and I never "pop" until my lady is drenched in her own orgasmic produced body fluids.
So please, enjoy a good erotic read, great sex or keep your heads buried up your own asses.
Regards,
Peter
by
Anonymous06/24/16
Peter
It would certainly help if you could spell the word losers.when you rant.Otherwise you look kind of inane.Don't you think?
by
Anonymous06/24/16
Peter
I think you may have missed his point, Arshole
by
Anonymous06/25/16
HOnest story
Some proof reading help is in order, but it's a decent story. The woman is fucking around with a number of guys,so he wants to add himself to the list. Extortion is illegle, but she made the bargain, and who can prove anything? Promiscuous sex is risky, but this is fiction, so noone is harmed
To the real loser @peterswiftt...We all know now that the story being true and you becoming so mad and insulting around about the critics of this so-called real man, that needs blackmail to have a fuck, that you are that man...As you can't fuck anyone you write this stories to brag about yourself and with them feel you are the SS (Super Stud) of the street, while you while you jerk off looking through your windows the women passing in the street...No man that needs blackmail to fuck is a real man and even less a "successful businessman"...And no writer is a good writer when needs to insult readers that only comment the story...signed: The cenacle bastard "Mr. Exclamation point repeater"!!!!!
by
Anonymous07/07/16
1*
stupid shit.
by
Anonymous08/06/16
The Chicago Way
The LW crowd is plenty tough and famously hard to please. The protagonist is just showing us the Chicago Way, certainly not nice, but then again, neither of the main characters is a nice person. The story is written in the first person but that doesn't mean the author IS the protagonist, he's merely telling us a made-up story using the first person form. An editor is needed as others have noted. But the author can tell a story, a skill harder to develop than learning punctuation. I hope the author writes more.
English
try detached
But other than that....good story.
Beyond Redemption
Don't write anymore.
I agree with @SharedSigne...
I agree with @SharedSigne: "Beyond Redemption"!!!! This man is egocentric!!! He has to blackmail a woman to have sex and then he had to be the best lover in the street!!! She now won't need anymore to go fuck young men!!! She lived 20 years next door to "Super Stud (SS)" and only now she finds out...1*
If English is a second language,
it isn't too bad. Things like "my partner and I find it cult like a scary," leave me wondering what is missing. You capitalize words in the middle of sentences and omit words often. Proof reading would help a lot.
Just like being there
This story was well set up from the beginning that I found my self in it. This is yet another that I will share with hubby. It made me wet.
Please keep them cuming Peter!
Yikes!
Our protaganist is a nasty motherfucker. Not a guy worth reading about unless he gets a comeuppance.
2*
JimC
Not the best story on Lit, but not the worst by a long shot
And to the Lit member with the extra !s in their review.
You need a new keyboard. Your ! key is jammed.
Why does everybody
Hate her husband Dave... He needs to make them all fall and he needs to acquire the narrator's company after he divorces his useless wife. But all is not lost she can go into business with her son. He can rent her out to his friends then she will have her own business.
INTERESTING!
The protagonist might not have been very lovable, but since when has that been a requirement for good fiction? In fact I seem to remember the villain as protagonist is one of the story types, even if we don’t see it much anymore. Anyway, you did a pretty good job on this one, but it would have been improved with better proofreading.
For me the blackmailing for sex isn’t very erotic, but that’s just one of my hang ups. If 3 ½ were possible that would have been my score, but since it isn’t, I gave you a 4. Good luck and keep writing.
Yeah ... pretty joyless.
And please - no more "anus-to-vagina" sex. It's a nearly guaranteed way to cause a really, really serious infection.
What I think it's jammed...@MattblackUK...
What I think it's jammed...@MattblackUK: it's people thinking a man behaving like him is acceptable, but if it was a woman she is a slut or a whore...Blackmail is blackmail and a serious crime, no matter the reason or the circunstances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sleaze
*
Well Suited
These two seem well suited to each other.
Nasty***
Oral on a swinger front and back. Now that's nasty!!!
*
*****
*****
To the few loosers
The stories I write are based on true accounts and were written to stimulate the reader. They are not English or grammar assignments and not intended to be morally, legally, hygienically or politically correct.
The positive reactions of my readers far out weigh the negative bull shit spewed by the Lil Ms. Asterisk, Mr. Exclamation point repeater, and the nagging English Professor type assholes.
They don't and will never depict mothers doing sons, fathers on daughters or call a butt a bum or an ass an arse. (how's that for bad English)
"The Neighbor's Wife" is a true account of a successful businessman who sees his much younger neighbor lady giving something away that he would thoroughly enjoy and simply elects to cash in.
Just like you so few critic, misguided, cenacle bastards would do if your bank teller was handing out free dollar bills.
Like most real men, our main character smells, tastes, fingers, feels and experiences everything in her offering, because being mature, he knows that sex isn't the destination, it's the journey and I never "pop" until my lady is drenched in her own orgasmic produced body fluids.
So please, enjoy a good erotic read, great sex or keep your heads buried up your own asses.
Regards,
Peter
Peter
It would certainly help if you could spell the word losers.when you rant.Otherwise you look kind of inane.Don't you think?
Peter
I think you may have missed his point, Arshole
HOnest story
Some proof reading help is in order, but it's a decent story. The woman is fucking around with a number of guys,so he wants to add himself to the list. Extortion is illegle, but she made the bargain, and who can prove anything? Promiscuous sex is risky, but this is fiction, so noone is harmed
Keep on, but find an editor.
To the real loser @peterswiftt...
To the real loser @peterswiftt...We all know now that the story being true and you becoming so mad and insulting around about the critics of this so-called real man, that needs blackmail to have a fuck, that you are that man...As you can't fuck anyone you write this stories to brag about yourself and with them feel you are the SS (Super Stud) of the street, while you while you jerk off looking through your windows the women passing in the street...No man that needs blackmail to fuck is a real man and even less a "successful businessman"...And no writer is a good writer when needs to insult readers that only comment the story...signed: The cenacle bastard "Mr. Exclamation point repeater"!!!!!
1*
stupid shit.
The Chicago Way
The LW crowd is plenty tough and famously hard to please. The protagonist is just showing us the Chicago Way, certainly not nice, but then again, neither of the main characters is a nice person. The story is written in the first person but that doesn't mean the author IS the protagonist, he's merely telling us a made-up story using the first person form. An editor is needed as others have noted. But the author can tell a story, a skill harder to develop than learning punctuation. I hope the author writes more.
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