Wanting to be Caught

That was a story?

More like a few long paragraphs. Nothing to see here.

Yet another 'writer' today who doesn't know what dialogue is OR what a fucking story is, I must have missed it.

1*

stupid cuck shit.

Really?

Really? What a best friend!!! And since they were 12 years old!!! And what a loving wife...better a man to live among enemies than among these two!!! Ahhhhhhhh, maybe the friend was fucking the husband too, since they were 12 years old!!! 1*

5

great LW story, eat shit annony!

How many years did

Jackson get for ending both their lives. No sense killing himself in front of them... all that would get is their applause, right?
Two selfish a******s can't make a very story

re: anonymous-5

Please tone it down Bonnie. Your comments should embarrass you.

I guess you have to start somewhere.

I appreciate your effort, but your character development was too precipitous and vague. The wife goes from disliking Brendan to monkey sex with him. Brendan goes from best friend to betrayer and seducer. It was kind of lazy to just tell us their feelings had changed and now they are fuck buddies. But the larger fail is that your story begs the question, So what? I mean, why should we care that another wife has turned slut and another best friend has turned asshole. It happens around here ALL the time. So what is it about these characters or this story that makes them special and interesting? Guess you ran out of time or interest to tell us that. But I can't blame you. I'm not that interested in these degenerates either.

You read about this every day.

2 dead cheaters and a betrayed husband in jail, not erotic just sick.

I'm so sorry. It was a very hot story....just not for me....

...I would have preferred her husband set them up for a week long threesome, rather than her letting Brendan fuck her. The two scenarios are completely different. One is an mutually agreeable arrangement between three adults and she gets VERY satisfied. The other is a serious betrayal and a complete invitation for hubby to take lovers as and when he wants....that door being flung wide by her impulsive choice to cheat on her husband.
Don't give me any shit about my morals or my thoughts or my beliefs, until you examine your own and determine or experience this shit firsthand.
It is fucking destructive to everything normally built into a marriage.
And it's OK now, because in spite of no prior understanding, discussion or agreement with her husband, it's still all good because she had a dream and realizes now, suddenly that she really loves Brendan after loathing him secretly for so long?
No. Damn. Way.
That shit hurts the people we say we love and kills that love deader than 4-day road kill. It also has the tendency to turn friends into enemies and married couples into divorcees.
Had a, had a, it's just a fantasy, so lighten up!....? Really? Try it out asshole. See how you like it.
Oh, and this is why emotions tend to run so high here. So many of the stories relate to, touch upon,corn like this one, hit squarely in the hurty parts. People tend to react to reliving that kind of shit.
OK, so don't read it....? Again, really? Have you ever been haunted by a tragedy so intense it forever alters your psyche? Try it out, then advise readers here about what to do or not do....yeah, you hate the "Grammar Nazis" and "Spelling Nazis" and the "morality police?" Me too, but maybe they got a point. Maybe aggrandizing extremely destructive behavior isn't the way to peace, happiness, and her majesty's comfort.
Maybe demonizing people that relive hurt over something a writer offered isn't so much their angst with the writer, as their outcry of pain (think lone wolf howling into the night for his lost mate).
Maybe deriding people that find shitty spelling and sloppy grammar isn't the way to improve. Maybe so,ex writers don't contribute with the idea of developing their talent, but just putting something out there that expresses their sexual politics. OK, so do it, but don't whine or verbally vomit when someone takes exception to your offering. Their sexual politics are every bit as valid as yours and in this open forum, everyone has a right to express themselves. Delete comments from the troglodytes? Sure. They're troglodytes. But to delete every comment you disagree with or that hurts your tender sentiments is as childish as the sniping between several of the "revenge voters" on this forum. But hey, it's open season here in LW...every single day. Take your shot and have a nice day.

That rant over, I again want to apologize that I can't score a well told *beginning* to a story higher, because I found myself preparing to go on a gender after reading it.
It is my real story and it fucking hurt to see it in this forum. I literally couldn't put the thing down...like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
You write well enough that I was trapped in this story. It'll take weeks to settle down again. Now, you couldn't possibly know your story idea would hit so close to home for anybody....and I don't blame you or hold you responsible for my shit. Call it serendipity. But damn!
Anyway. I hope you'll continue to contribute. I'll just have to take more care about subject matter in future.
Thank you....sort of.

A good story

Can hurt feelings, make you laugh or learn you something. The scene catching his buddy's girl jilling off make me recall an incident from years gone by that may have been the most awkward ever. I never slept with the lil minx but the vision of her blurred fingers charging about her squishly lady parts fuels fantasies to this day. It appears this is setting up to be a classic spit roast if the betrayal can be resolved. Dialogue is important but doesnt take away from hot monkey sex. (Not my first stop at the zoo; but to each his own.) The premise is sound. Brendan is the most developed so continue to get in his head. They are both going to have figure out a way to appease Jackson.
This is a good start. You can bend it anyway you want. Cuatro estrellas.

This was a great story

and please don't let some pathetic person who shouldn't be on a porn site try to give you a guilt trip. These trolls will try anything to get good authors to stop publishing stories in LW. 5*

1*

more cuck shit.

Lots of anger here. Too bad for the little ball-less cucks here who get enraged at the thought of their women getting something they can't give them. This is fiction, little boys. Get over it.

re: anonymous-lots of anger

Yes, lots of anger. Let's start with yours.What's your excuse?

Needs more!

It feels incomplete. Did Allie feel guilt to the level of confessing? Did she claim it to be a one-off? The emotional fallout is what LW fans like. Otherwise we would read erotic couplings where the act itself is the story. Three stars

Ten paragraphs

This is a brief glimpse into some much larger storyline. Is it meant to be a multi-chapter story, or is this it? It's difficult to evaluate this story without knowing that.

I only read this story because of the comments (and because there has been so little worth reading here lately.) One commenter was so deeply affected by this story that the author feels compelled to remove this story? Seriously? I feel like I must have missed something.

WHAT!!!!!!**

Where the hell are these ideas in Loving Wives coming from?