The title caught my interest right away. There needs to be more introduction. The characters could use more attention. What happened to the sister? She seemed to have been introduced as a character with high sexual interests and could have been brought into the story as an important person. the story line was very good just needs more development.
by
Anonymous06/29/16
12" would have been better
So silly
by
Anonymous06/29/16
errr ...... what?
'Her tits were coin shaped and the breasts were large' ..... The way I read this, she had both tits and breasts. Is that right?
How can anyone write this shitty? You're fucking with us, right? The problem is, even as a parody, the story sucks.
by
Anonymous06/29/16
A PROOF REA IS CRUCIAL
I read your piece and popped a five star grade to it as an encouragement for first time submission. My experience is for a proof reading and still overlooking one, what is for others, glaring beacon of a mistake. It is usually a simple mistake such as your "coin" for cone or even conical but someone always stands tall like a ground hog in the weeds to make me appear foolish. Fuck em. Proof read and improve. Story is fine for an Incest piece. I like hair on a woman and prefer more build up to the connecting of sex parts but your work still holds up.
Keep writing.
by
Anonymous06/29/16
Continue
This could get interesting Please have a 2nd and 3rd Part !!!
an excellent first-time contribution. 19 year old James lives in the middle of a whacky, fuck-happy family. It's inevitable that he's going to take part sooner or later. Luckily, his mother takes the initiative--for quite a while mom's been hankering for what her boy's got jumping around in his pants. It's cute how James the virgin concludes that "orgasms during sex were way better than masturbation." They sure are, kid, especially when a boy is blowing his balls up the same warm wet hole he came out of. James and his mom have discovered the perfect match--his young cock and his mother's seasoned cunt. Face it, at least some of a boy's semen belongs up his own birth canal. After all, at his age his young balls never quit. He's got plenty of that glorious stuff and, like a good son, he'll be gifting his mother with lots of it from now on.
Well you've got a start but you quit to soon. There were several more pages if not chapters in this story. Get busy.
by
Anonymous06/29/16
Re: A PROOF REA IS CRUCIAL
"I read your piece and popped a five star grade to it as an encouragement for first time submission."
It's people like you that ruin this site. You give 5 stars just because it's a first time effort? What an ass. How about grading the story based on the content?
by
Anonymous06/29/16
great story write a second chapter
by
Anonymous06/29/16
cumming in mummy
cant quite understand why you kept your virginity for so long, when will you be having a threesome with mummy and your sister, maybe even daddy as well, perhaps he might want to fuck you and your sister at the same time.
by
Anonymous06/29/16
3
Most first-submission stories are lame. I'll read you again in a year.
Another 10 inch virgin living with a sexually active sister and mom.
BUT!?!? You left out you are as big aound as a beer can. You also forgot you are between 5 foot 10 and 6 foot 2 while only weighing some where between 180 and 210. Oops! I almost forgot your blonde hair and deep blue eyes. And you are the most considerate and noble person for 10 states.
Folks help me, remind me of any other stereotypes our genuine author left out
by
Anonymous06/30/16
Obviously a virgin
Pure BS written by someone who has no idea about sex. Calling nipples tits?!
The majority of nudists do it for the freedom on not wearing clothes, it does not have anything with being obsessed with sex. The parents of a nudist family would definitely not be having sex out in the open for the rest of the family to see.
Next time write about something you actually know about.
Ended to abruptly. As for the people saying it isn't real nudism... Jesus you are reading porn. What do you expect... everyone simply sitting in their living room doing chores and living normal lives. You knew what you wanted by the title. Also... having interacted with nudists... while it is not about incest... sex can be a big part of it. I say this having been to several nudist places with my wife frequently.
whenever I walk nude inside of my house I feel total freedom. my mom accepted my nude walk, so I am happy always. she never care my nudity. I am always her dotting child.
English
Nudist?
Naked but not nudist.
good start - if mom was waiting for it, what have sister & dad been doing?
Needs a lot of work
Misuse of words plus it was rushed and the abrupt ending.
Nice title
The title caught my interest right away. There needs to be more introduction. The characters could use more attention. What happened to the sister? She seemed to have been introduced as a character with high sexual interests and could have been brought into the story as an important person. the story line was very good just needs more development.
12" would have been better
So silly
errr ...... what?
'Her tits were coin shaped and the breasts were large' ..... The way I read this, she had both tits and breasts. Is that right?
Are you fucking with us?
How can anyone write this shitty? You're fucking with us, right? The problem is, even as a parody, the story sucks.
A PROOF REA IS CRUCIAL
I read your piece and popped a five star grade to it as an encouragement for first time submission. My experience is for a proof reading and still overlooking one, what is for others, glaring beacon of a mistake. It is usually a simple mistake such as your "coin" for cone or even conical but someone always stands tall like a ground hog in the weeds to make me appear foolish. Fuck em. Proof read and improve. Story is fine for an Incest piece. I like hair on a woman and prefer more build up to the connecting of sex parts but your work still holds up.
Keep writing.
Continue
This could get interesting Please have a 2nd and 3rd Part !!!
Great
Great story. Looking for the next one
Sire9755@yahoo.com
okay, some flaws, but still
an excellent first-time contribution. 19 year old James lives in the middle of a whacky, fuck-happy family. It's inevitable that he's going to take part sooner or later. Luckily, his mother takes the initiative--for quite a while mom's been hankering for what her boy's got jumping around in his pants. It's cute how James the virgin concludes that "orgasms during sex were way better than masturbation." They sure are, kid, especially when a boy is blowing his balls up the same warm wet hole he came out of. James and his mom have discovered the perfect match--his young cock and his mother's seasoned cunt. Face it, at least some of a boy's semen belongs up his own birth canal. After all, at his age his young balls never quit. He's got plenty of that glorious stuff and, like a good son, he'll be gifting his mother with lots of it from now on.
A start
Well you've got a start but you quit to soon. There were several more pages if not chapters in this story. Get busy.
Re: A PROOF REA IS CRUCIAL
"I read your piece and popped a five star grade to it as an encouragement for first time submission."
It's people like you that ruin this site. You give 5 stars just because it's a first time effort? What an ass. How about grading the story based on the content?
great story write a second chapter
cumming in mummy
cant quite understand why you kept your virginity for so long, when will you be having a threesome with mummy and your sister, maybe even daddy as well, perhaps he might want to fuck you and your sister at the same time.
3
Most first-submission stories are lame. I'll read you again in a year.
I GIVE UP????
Another 10 inch virgin living with a sexually active sister and mom.
BUT!?!? You left out you are as big aound as a beer can. You also forgot you are between 5 foot 10 and 6 foot 2 while only weighing some where between 180 and 210. Oops! I almost forgot your blonde hair and deep blue eyes. And you are the most considerate and noble person for 10 states.
Folks help me, remind me of any other stereotypes our genuine author left out
Obviously a virgin
Pure BS written by someone who has no idea about sex. Calling nipples tits?!
rubbish
A waste of space. Are you between school years?
I Am Still Laughing**
You guys that come on here to try out new joke material are funny. But keep your day job this sucks.Thanks for the giggles.
Story.
If you write anything else could you make a story to read!
ok?
it is a start not bad but read it back before sending it in so you can filter out the big mistakes.
obviously knows nothing about being a nudist
The majority of nudists do it for the freedom on not wearing clothes, it does not have anything with being obsessed with sex. The parents of a nudist family would definitely not be having sex out in the open for the rest of the family to see.
Next time write about something you actually know about.
Nudist?
More like swingers but then many nudist are swingers too.
Not bad
Ended to abruptly. As for the people saying it isn't real nudism... Jesus you are reading porn. What do you expect... everyone simply sitting in their living room doing chores and living normal lives. You knew what you wanted by the title. Also... having interacted with nudists... while it is not about incest... sex can be a big part of it. I say this having been to several nudist places with my wife frequently.
Great story
Love how he gave it to her
whenever I walk nude inside of my house I feel total freedom. my mom accepted my nude walk, so I am happy always. she never care my nudity. I am always her dotting child.
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