You kinda used it a lot in your sentences. I simply recommend using other terms instead of always saying "I did this" or "I did that". The overall story however looks very interesting and it's going be fun seeing how the main character loosens up a bit.
English
A start...
...looking for a story.
Put more together before putting it out or you'll get blasted.
Interesting!
this is a pretty good start!
Promising!
I like that this is an ambw story. please finish this story! :D
Will there be more?
Overusing "I"
You kinda used it a lot in your sentences. I simply recommend using other terms instead of always saying "I did this" or "I did that". The overall story however looks very interesting and it's going be fun seeing how the main character loosens up a bit.
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