homeErotic PoetryThirst:: Beware from where you drinkPublic Comments

All Comments  for

Thirst:: Beware from where you drink

bytungtied2u©
All
Comments (2)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by YDD04/11/04

Metaphor

You use the oasis = body metaphor fairly well,
but I would prefer that you did not point it out so early in the poem.
You might create more of a surprise/twist of comprehension if you used a less obvious word than "limbs" in the opening line of the second stanza.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Syndra Lynn06/07/04

Drinks

are on me, love. Nice words.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Thirst:: Beware from where you drink  or
More submissions by tungtied2u.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel