All Comments on 'Thirst:: Beware from where you drink'

by tungtied2u

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YDDYDDabout 20 years ago
Metaphor

You use the oasis = body metaphor fairly well,

but I would prefer that you did not point it out so early in the poem.

You might create more of a surprise/twist of comprehension if you used a less obvious word than "limbs" in the opening line of the second stanza.

Syndra LynnSyndra Lynnalmost 20 years ago
Drinks

are on me, love. Nice words.

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