Sex is very much a mental thing, and congrats for writing a story that, for a variation, moves mainly on the mental plane.
by
Anonymous07/02/16
#WTF
Was that lets start at ending #Really he steps in shower she stays basically #TheEnd #Really?!?!
Ok maybe there more to chapters to come but Still very very poor ending anyway!
The Premise of story was stupid Why did/would brother agree to watch sister sucking 6 guys off just to make sure she safe
Again Premise of story was stupid Why the fantasy of a 6 guy(not 5 not 4/3 Not 7/8 but 6) For FREE blow-job ?
Maybe if shes getting paid or paying a debt might of made sense
and little things like Why the rush to leave hotel etc etc
Lori doesn't know how a girl gets a reputation as a cock sucking slut. Seriously, the set up was pretty hard to imagine. If she wants to fuck her brother, all she has to do is take her shirt off. No diseases involved and no rep. The ending was awful. You may intend to write a second chapter. If so, you should have stated "To be continued".
The story was very good. Quite a lot of buildup, which is a nice change. But then, nothing. The story just ended. We need to see these two realize how much they want each other.
It was a great story, as long as you continue. If you don't continue you are just cruel.
by
Anonymous07/04/16
I liked the story ..... I think Lori wants to do something to Joel, not only for protecting her but she really wants him. He really wants her but doesn't want to say out loud. It would be great if they did, as that would open up new possibilities for them. She's horny after sucking those 6 guys and he is horny because he saw what she did. The next chapter, should be really an eye opener - hoprefully !! Thank you.
by
Anonymous07/04/16
YEAH!
Exo-fucking-llent! Finally somebody with some class.
by
Anonymous01/12/17
joel is
sissys cum slut. toofunnyscumoftheearthstoryasshole1*justtomakeyouc um
English
Nice
Very nice story in letting the mind wander with thoughts of lust. Now that is erotic story telling. Good job.
Please
Please make a part 2, don't just leave us with a cliff hanger like this
For me it didn't flow. Not much action
Mental
Sex is very much a mental thing, and congrats for writing a story that, for a variation, moves mainly on the mental plane.
#WTF
Was that lets start at ending #Really he steps in shower she stays basically #TheEnd #Really?!?!
Ok maybe there more to chapters to come but Still very very poor ending anyway!
The Premise of story was stupid Why did/would brother agree to watch sister sucking 6 guys off just to make sure she safe
Again Premise of story was stupid Why the fantasy of a 6 guy(not 5 not 4/3 Not 7/8 but 6) For FREE blow-job ?
Maybe if shes getting paid or paying a debt might of made sense
and little things like Why the rush to leave hotel etc etc
Apparently...
Lori doesn't know how a girl gets a reputation as a cock sucking slut. Seriously, the set up was pretty hard to imagine. If she wants to fuck her brother, all she has to do is take her shirt off. No diseases involved and no rep. The ending was awful. You may intend to write a second chapter. If so, you should have stated "To be continued".
We need more.
The story was very good. Quite a lot of buildup, which is a nice change. But then, nothing. The story just ended. We need to see these two realize how much they want each other.
Nice
It was a great story, as long as you continue. If you don't continue you are just cruel.
I liked the story ..... I think Lori wants to do something to Joel, not only for protecting her but she really wants him. He really wants her but doesn't want to say out loud. It would be great if they did, as that would open up new possibilities for them. She's horny after sucking those 6 guys and he is horny because he saw what she did. The next chapter, should be really an eye opener - hoprefully !! Thank you.
YEAH!
Exo-fucking-llent! Finally somebody with some class.
joel is
sissys cum slut. toofunnyscumoftheearthstoryasshole1*justtomakeyouc um
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